Down and Out at the Dollar Store

I hit a new low yesterday at Dollar USA. I am poor, even more so than I usually am which is pretty sad. When you are poor, what do you do? You drive to your parents house and give them your sad story so they will take you to places like Dollar USA in Bainbridge, Ohio.

To me the dollar store is intriguing because everything is one dollar. Making this even better last night was that Seasons in the Sun was playing on the radio. The whole thing was surreal as I walked around picking out extension cords and hangers singing the lyrics to this song. As we headed to the cashier, a look of horror ran across my face when I saw that somebody from high school was working as a cashier. Here I am an almost 30-year old able-bodied human being and then here is my mom saying: “Okay put your stuff up there on the counter so I can pay for it.” In my head, these thoughts were passing through: Please don’t recognize me. Please don’t realize my mom has to buy me a noodle strainer and hangers at the age of 30. Please don’t look up and notice I was the one who beat you out for that shortstop position 12 years ago. Just keep moving the line and don’t look up because I think that would be so awkward.

She never looked up or at least she didn’t let on that she looked up or noticed me. In general running into this girl would be awkward. Running into her while my mom is buying me $8 worth of stuff for my new apartment, was really awkward for me. Maybe I am just a big snob but yesterday was one of those low moments I would like to forget. Someday when I am where I want to be, I will look back and remember this moment as one of those moments of inspiration. Thanks for the stuff Mom!