It's Been A Long Two Weeks

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of fun (except the part where the Indians choked to the Red Sox). My birthday week was filled with fun adventures including the opportunity to meet one of my favorite writers, comedians and actresses, Amy Sedaris. A couple days later I went on my birthday goal bike ride from my house to my friend's house in Chagrin Falls (20 miles), and then spent the rest of the day at the Winking Lizard in Bedford, which is a lot more fun than it might sound. Apparently at the Winking Lizard you get a free birthday shot called "The Blowjob" which creates for good photo opportunities, but the taste was too sweet for me. We also taste tested the new wing sauces (spicy seasme and garlic parmesean) they are offering which got a four out of five wings ranking from me.

On my actual birthday we went to Niagara Falls. Before heading to Canada, we stopped in Buffalo for some recommended wings at Gabriel's Gate that were really good (four out of five wings). We had an amazing time in Niagara Falls and got a beautiful room overlooking the Falls at the Marriott. It was a great trip, but Canada is just so damn expensive that it makes it hard to go there anymore. Remember when the American dollar was actually worth something?

Halloween was this past weekend and I decided to do it up this year. I went as Captain Cock Block (Julie went as Q-Bert). For those of you that don't know what a cock block is, here is the definition according to Urban Dictionary: "An act of ill etiquette in which a male is speaking to one female in a group of females, and the alpha female creates a disruptive environment" Now just imagine that in human form, or just check out the slideshow below.

Good Advice

Last week, my girlfriend received an e-mail from Cleveland+ about the opportunity to explore Cleveland with the chance of even winning tickets to go there. This seemed so inviting we decided to actually see this city of Cleveland we had heard so much about. On the advice of Cleveland+ we packed our Saturday full of Cleveland activities.

On Saturday morning we decided to do the Bridge and Subway Tour on the Veterans Memorial Bridge, which is only a few blocks from my house. This free tour allows people to explore the old streetcar routes in Cleveland. You start out by going underground to see the old subway stops, watch a historical movie on streetcars in Cleveland, and then walk all the way across the bridge to the other side of Superior on the lower level-the same route the streetcars used to take. As you can imagine the views of the city were spectacular, and a little scary as you are walking over the Cuyahoga River on a thin grate with a piece of plywood. I have a "small" fear of heights, so needless to say there were a few points where I was holding on for dear life. One of the guides told me it was completely safe, and that he would know because he worked in the Cuyahoga County Engineers office, which relieved me until he told me he worked in accounting. After exiting the bridge on Superior and West 9th we realized we needed water and batteries. Being the complete tourists, we had the digital camera in full swing so we had already run through our first set of batteries. Even though I wanted to get batteries at the porn store on West 9th to get the full feel of Cleveland, we headed to Constantines Market, where we were asked if we were from Cleveland because of the camera hanging by its strap around Julie's neck. We laughed thinking we actually looked like we won a trip to Cleveland (thanks again Cleveland+).

After refilling on batteries, espresso and water, we headed down to explore the flats. I was amazed by how the flats looked like a ghost town on the east bank. Other than Larry Flynt's Hustler Club, there was one bar left and a hair salon.

At points,we were the only people on the whole east bank of the flats and it was the weirdest feeling, however it did give us a lot of room to take fun pictures of the river, the bridges and the scenery surrounding the flats, including the panoramic picture above. We explored the west bank which was much more populated before heading home. We crashed so hard after walking around in the sun in Cleveland for four hours, but we knew we had to re-group because the roller derby was just hours away.

Saturday night we made our monthly trek to the North Olmsted Indoor Soccer Complex to meet up with some friends and catch the Burning River Roller Girls in action. Good times and Pabst Blue Ribbon in a tall can were had by all (except Julie who made thundersticks out of her plastic Bud Light bottles).

By Sunday I was exhausted, but I will never forget what a great day I had in Cleveland+, and I would recommend visiting this city to all my friends.

How I Spent My Time In Between CAVS Games

From Kenny Chesney going home with me to biking through the metroparks, the three days in between CAVS games were jam-packed.


After the game on Thursday we bar hopped around Lakewood where we ended the night carrying home a life-size cut-out of Kenny Chesney. When my friend saw the cut-out by the DJ booth she told me she wanted it, so I decided to slide it out the window into the bushes to get on our way out. Operation Kenny Chesney was successful, and it began quite an eventful weekend.

A couple months ago, I took a personality quiz that told me I didn't appreciate art. After this weekend I scoff at that quiz. On Friday we met some friends for dinner at Momocho, where we got the margarita and guacamole samplers before heading off to Just Art. Just Art was a show curated by one of my best friends during the Tremont Art Walk. Just Art benefited Greater Cleveland Community Shares, which is an organization close to my heart because of all the work they do for non-profit organizations in Cleveland. On Saturday we headed south to attend the Columbus Art Festival. After the festival, I ate authentic ethiopian for the first time in my life. I am not one to shy away from most foods, so it was a fun experience. After dinner, we took advantage of being in a different city and went to the Columbus roller derby. On the drive home we decided we were craving wings, but it was too late to do anything about our craving.

On Sunday morning our craving was taken care of when we decided to have Sunday brunch at the Winking Lizard. Thankfully we beat the church crowds there. After some wings and beer (pictured), I went home to clean and then headed out for a 10-mile bike ride at the Metroparks. Apparently the best time to bike is right before a CAVS game because there were very few people on the bike path. Even though I tried to keep myself busy in anticipation of Game 2, the result for the CAVS was still the same. I am looking forward to game 3, but I don't think I will be nearly as busy in between games.

A Potpourri Of Clubbing Clothes, Peacepipes, Lunch Diets And Binge Drinking

I had so many things I wanted to write about today. Let me just touch upon a few of the highlights before I move on to the truly blog-worthy idea I found online.

First off, I had an interesting weekend working events for the women's basketball tournament. On Saturday, I found myself blocking the view of Geno Auriemma at the high school All-Star game as I was sitting in press row, and he of course was sitting wherever the hell he wanted to be sitting. I also scored tickets to the WNBA/WBCA after-party, but decided I may stick out too much to go. The person who gave me the tickets told me to try and blend in by wearing the clothes I would wear to go clubbing. I skipped that event. My clubbing clothes were at the cleaners.

Another blog idea was that I should mention I have started the Subway Challenge. Goodbye mayonnaise and cheese and hello honey mustard. I have decided to follow in Jared's footsteps and see if this six grams of fat marketing campaign actually works for lunch. That's right, I am only going to do it for lunch. It will take off the guilt from the wings and beer I will be consuming at dinner.

My original blog idea got bumped, so I thought I would just shorten it by giving a quick summary. Did anybody see that the Cleveland Indians played the St. Louis Cardinals in the Inaugural Civil Rights Game commemorating the civil rights movement in baseball? To stay true to the game, the Cleveland Indians removed Chief Wahoo off of their uniforms...for JUST this exhibition game. Doesn't it seem like more of a slap in the face to do that for just this game, and then put it back on for the regular season--ya know...the games that actually count. I think someone in marketing was smoking the peacepipe on this idea.

And finally the idea that trumps all others occurred just a little while ago as I was surfing the internet trying to find out the fat and calories in alcohol, to keep an accurate measurement of my Subway Challenge. I found someone else was doing a similar search, and had posted their questions for all the world to answer. I love this open letter almost as much as I want to find the person who wrote it so that I can hang out with them sometime. Enjoy...

"My favourite tipple is a double vodka with diet coke (the coke filled to the top) in a average glass served by pubs in the UK.
1. Can anyone tell me the average kcal calories content of a glass? 2. If I drank an average of 8-10 glasses of these on a weekend nightout, how many calories would I be consuming? 3. Would adding ice help reduce calorie content or increase sobriety? Or no different? 4. What is the lowest calories double spirits and mixer? (But withequal strength of alcohol)? 5. Does an increase in alcohol strength mean an increase in calories? 6. Is eating food (e.g. kebab, chips) after a drinking binge harmfulor not? e.g. helps reduce hangovers, or increases nausea in morningetc. What is recommended? Should I drink water before eating food, orafter eating food? Or both or does it make no different? Tips will be given for thorough answers."

I think I may have found my British counterpart!

RIP Memorial Day Weekend

I had an incredible Memorial Day Weekend and decided to take Tuesday off as well to make it a four-day weekend. The weekend was full of a lot of fun events and the chance to catch up with people I haven’t been able to hang out with in a while. I spent this past weekend playing poker, hanging out at the Open Air Market , relaxing at Lava Lounge , eating at Mekong River , enjoying a short stint at the Metroparks , exhausting myself at Dave and Busters and finishing the weekend at Geauga Lake . That’s right…my brother and I spent Tuesday at Geauga Lake, along with about 1000 high school students. We actually fit in with the high school students at one point when we considered buying one of those keychains with our picture together from the roller coaster. Thankfully we realized just how queer that would be, even at half off the regular price. We even made up for that fact on the next ride and sat a seat apart just to erase any doubt we weren’t that dorky. Good thing we stayed away from the air-brushed tee-shirts.

While waiting in line for what we both agreed was the best ride at the park, X-Flight , I remarked on how unbelievable it is that people would wait up to an hour on the weekends just to ride this roller coaster. It was at this point when I told Mark they should change the name of the ride to Prom Night for the simple fact that you pay a lot of money to wait a very long time for 30 seconds of exhilaration. He agreed.

Who Knew?

I learned so much the past couple days!

Who knew the Tremont Art Walk doesn’t have to include walking at all and that it should really be renamed the Tremont Art Drink?

Who knew if someone is cheap enough to flash someone for money, they are cheap enough to take a check instead of cash?

Who knew Macaroni and Cheese is best served after midnight?

Who knew the Rocky River Kiwanis pancake breakfast would include a piano solo?

Who knew watching sports without knowing the score could be so damn frustrating?

Who knew Lebron James would become the youngest player to score 4,000 points in an NBA career? (Ok, ok I actually knew that one would happen.)

Who knew staying in on Saturday and being in bed by 10 pm could be just as enjoyable as being with your friends on Friday night?

Who knew the CAVS could actually play defense?

Who knew Mindy would make my life a living hell this week and laugh uncontrollably when I tell her what she is doing to me?

Who knew our fantasy football team would blow everyone away with the following receiving corps: Roy Williams, Dennis Northcutt and Antwaan Randle El?

Who knew if you asked for a case of wine: half red, half white, the Market on Professor would give you all pink (rose) wine?

What an enlightening weekend!

Weekend Recap

Baby Showers: Not my forte. Three hours of baby gifts is not how I ever want to spend a Saturday in August again.

Le Tigre: I could watch them perform every night and never get tired. Imagine Divo and Bananarama having musically gifted punk daughters.

Camp Lieberth: Always a Sunday afternoon pleasure. The past two Sundays have been spent sitting on my parents dock reading trashy magazines and navigating through the lake on a Styrofoam noodle.

One more interesting thing to note from the weekend: I have a borderline stalker who works at Heinens. Every time my friend and I go in there, she follows us around the store and acts like she is working when clearly she does not work in every department of the store at the same time. She runs from the deli, to the freezer section and then up to the cash registers and opens her register just for us. I know she has a million things she wants to say considering she couldn’t wait to tell me how much she loves Angelina Jolie in an awkward 19-year-old girl kinda way. I am probably the first person she has ever seen in there she felt like she could relate to. There aren’t a whole lot of women who look like me, especially on Sunday when I was sporting a faux hawk, shopping in the Heinens of Aurora right next to the Barrington Golf Community. I do feel for her. I hope she is able to find somebody to stalk after I leave--just like I had to do when I was her age growing up in the suburbs on the east side, following around women who looked like I do now thinking they could somehow lead me to the Promise Land.