East Versus West: Priorities

I may refuse to live east of the city, but for now on I will always go that direction for medical care in Cleveland. Normally I would go to Hillcrest Hospital in Mayfield for my emergency room care, but on Monday morning I decided to just walk the one block to Lutheran Hospital in Ohio City to get a small sliver of glass out of my heel. Four days later, I am regretting that decision.

One would think getting a small piece of glass out of my heel would be something that could be done in the emergency room. I watch enough cable programming to see almost anything can be done in the emergency room. What I found out is that the only thing that can be done in the emergency room at Lutheran is a lot of waiting and a lot of watching cable television. Ironic isn’t it? I spent five hours sitting there waiting to see a doctor. During that time, they took inconclusive x-rays and gave me a tetanus shot. The tetanus shot they gave me has now infected my right arm. My arm feels like it is on fire, though I am glad to say the swelling has finally started to go down after two nights of icing it. Nonetheless, the final verdict on the foot was that I would have to have surgery the next morning.

Tuesday morning I got ready for surgery by having a nurse try to find a place to put an IV into my hands. Three tries later both of my hands are bruised, but the anesthesia was definitely worth that small amount of pain. She kept telling me she always finds it on the first try and I was the exception. I guess that was reassuring for the next patient but it didn’t do a whole lot for my psyche as I headed into surgery. On my way in, my nurse asked me if I was related to the “Bainbridge Lieberths.” This was a good sign as I assumed she would never let anything happen to a “Bainbridge Lieberth” so I answered yes as quickly as possible. As I lay there, they showed me the piece of glass they took out, which I didn’t see but they swore they took it out, so I had no other choice but to believe them. It was like when they said the Tetanus shot would hurt for only a day or so, and they refrained from telling me my arm would swell up and make my bicep look like a tomato.

Two stitches later, my foot probably hurts the least of all my wounds. The bruising in my hands has turned a different color which I think is a good thing, and my arm doesn’t burn nearly as much as it has. My doctor who didn’t seem overly concerned said to come back to the emergency room next week if it was still swelled and burning. I have a feeling I will choose Hillcrest Hospital if that is the case. Not to mention the east side also has better Asian cuisine, so it is a good excuse to get some Thai food. Hmmm…better healthcare and better Thai food, perhaps I should consider a re-location. Nah, the bars are still better on the west side and in the end isn’t that all that really matters?

Meanwhile...One Tetanus Shot Later

I spent the day at Lutheran Hospital and apparently I will be spending tomorrow at Lutheran Hospital as well. It's funny how the smallest thing can turn into a big production. Long story short: broke a glass Saturday night, stepped on random piece of glass Sunday night, went to emergency room Monday morning and having surgery on my heel to remove remaining glass Tuesday morning. For those of you who read my blog on a daily basis, this incident did not involve a spider or a Swiffer Wet Jet through my living room window. I just wanted to make that clear.

Is There A Podiatrist In The House?

Remember that fall I took three weeks ago to celebrate Thanksgiving weekend?Apparently some injuries decided to wait before materializing. Last week my right foot began to swell up and throb with pain. I had no idea what was happening. I made an appointment with a podiatrist and found out today the ramifications from that fall were a lot worse then originally suspected.

Before I let you know what happened, I have to share the irony of the doctor I chose. When I made my appointment through my insurance company earlier this week they told me the name of the doctor. She just happened to be the one who threw that crazy party two weeks ago. However because she was already passed out when I got there, she never saw me and didn’t recognize me this morning. When she was telling me about her house today, I so wanted to say: “Yeah I know I was there dancing with some crazy black men two weeks ago smoking in your kitchen and drinking your top shelf liquor.” Instead, I just sat there without saying anything.

As for my foot, I have Plantar Fascitis, Peroneal Tendonitis and Capsulitis. In essence my ligaments and tendons are all messed up. I now have to spend the next six weeks wearing a brace and going to physical therapy. I should sue the owners of that house where I fell. On second thought, Christmas is coming up and I should probably not bring any lawsuits against my parents.

All-Inclusive

I had only planned on spending one maybe two nights at my parents’ house this Thanksgiving Weekend. However after my fall, I ended up staying four days and four nights. That’s right, it was like I won a vacation: All inclusive four day-four night stay at Camp Lieberth including the following amenities:

All you can eat Thanksgiving leftovers; any DVD you can possibly imagine; all sports, all the time on your choice of four different televisions; unlimited internet access, hot tub usage and pain killers; euchre tournament on Saturday and filet mignon served on Sunday during NFL Primetime. Sorry lake will be closed for the winter.

Even though I felt like crap all weekend, it obviously could have been under worse conditions.

Strange but true fact of the day: Four different people I have lived with and would consider some of my best friends over the past ten years, turn 30 this week.

How Sick Am I?

I will be missing my third party of the weekend tonight. I still haven’t left my parents house and I haven’t changed my clothes in three days. (If you are yet to read my last entry you may want to go back because it will give you a little insight into the following information.)

On Wednesday I was told I had a sinus infection. No biggie. I get them all the time. What I don’t do all the time is fall down a flight of stairs and crush my nose where my sinuses happen to be housed. With the swelling, I have been unable to blow my nose or cough up anything in my body. Good times. Things are looking better though, today I was able to raise my arm above my head for the first time in three days. That was very exciting. Nonetheless it has been very hard to fight this sinus infection and I feel so gross. I haven’t been able to sleep in three nights, even with the muscle relaxers my mother has given me.

Yes my mother has proven to be a regular nurse-in-training through this whole ordeal. When I woke her up to help with the blood, she immediately handed me a box of frozen pizza rolls for my face, frozen broccoli for my knee and some darvocet for the pain. Who needs the Cleveland Clinic when you have Camp Lieberth?

Thanksgiving Eve

With visions of turkey dancing in her head, I woke my mom up at 3:30 am on Thanksgiving with the following question: “Mom, what do you use to get blood out of your carpet?” Her response, as you can imagine, went something like this: “Huh? Blood? Huh?”

Apparently I woke up in the middle of the night to turn the heat down, or at least I think that is why I woke up, and ended up taking a nosedive down their stairs right into the dining room. I cut my lip and nose on the banister as I fell to the bottom and there was blood everywhere. How nobody woke up is beyond me. I remember laying there at the bottom thinking: “Wow, give these people a couple drinks and some Chinese food and they can sleep through anything.”

The whole right side of my body is hurting today as I hit my knee and elbow against the wall so hard my pajamas ripped. My parents and I laughed reliving the story this morning when my mom told us to quiet down so we wouldn’t wake my brother up. However, I believe if he slept through that dainty fall of mine, he could probably sleep through anything.

Stronger Than Anthrax

Remember the Anthrax craze four years ago when everyone was trying to get their hands on Cipro because it was the only thing that could fight Anthrax? I know where people can get some now. I was just taken off Cipro because it isn't strong enough to fight whatever is going on in my body. A drug they refer to as the "power pack" is my new drug of choice. They still aren't sure what is wrong with me yet, but whatever it is, it must be stronger than anthrax. If you get any mail from me in the next couple weeks, you may want to have it examined first.

I Would Hardly Call This UrgentCare

Why do they call it UrgentCare when you have to wait for over 90 minutes with only three people in the waiting room? On Tuesday I was lucky enough to get the chance to visit my local UrgentCare due to a throat and ear problem which kept me in all weekend (see previous entry). There I was sandwiched in between the 85-year old woman in town from Florida who fell at Avon Commons and the gentleman who fell down and hurt his ribs who won the award for stupidest question asked at an UrgentCare: While filling out his paperwork, he asked his wife if he had a maiden name. She was nice enough to answer him with a straight face.

For over an hour we all sat there staring at each other wondering if there were actually doctors behind those magical doors. The doors we all kept staring at, hoping somebody, anybody would walk out and call our names. It really is the most amazing feeling in the world when you finally hear your name. (I would compare it to winning the lottery but I have never won the lottery so I guess I will compare it to winning the spelling bee in third grade.) However, once you head toward the back and think you have made it to the promise land, your wait is not over. Oh they will patronize you and ask you questions and tell you the doctor will be right in, but this is never the case. Once in the back, I waited another thirty minutes to see a doctor, who spent two minutes examining me.