There Are Some Things Money Can't Buy

Cigarettes: $4.00

Our original bill at the Fulton: $38.00

Our bill after I told Mindy to let the bartender know Happy Hour was still in effect: $17.00

My new blazer from Unique Thrift: $6.00

Having to buy a pair of jeans so I could go over the $12.00 limit to use my card at the thrift store: $6.00

Finding the perfect blazer for my role as Chip in tonight’s skit: Priceless

Laughing for ninety minutes straight about anything and everything with Mindy, who I haven’t hung out with in weeks: Priceless

Sharing a Middle Eastern beef dish with Mohammed and Jimmy at the little store where I buy my cigarettes when I asked what smelled so good behind the counter: Priceless

Making a friend forget about her troubles, even for just a moment, with an incredible joke that only works when I have been drinking so I can talk really loud with an Asian accent: Priceless

Hearing a middle-aged guy in Ohio City say his mom just took him out for the best birthday steak dinner in the area and then when the bartender asks where at, he replies “The Longhorn at Ridge Park in Parma, ever heard of it?”: Priceless (This guy was creepy because he kept reading the birthday card his mother had given him over and over again.)

Just your run-of-the-mill typical Thursday night in Ohio City.