Browns Sign Clinton and Obama

You can't go anywhere in Northeast Ohio without seeing Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. I mean this literally. In past elections, the Ohio primary took place so late that the candidates for each party had already been decided (see: John McCain). This year both Obama and Clinton can't seem to get out of Ohio. Just yesterday Obama was down the road at Valley Forge High School as Hillary was a little farther east in Youngstown before she came to Akron this afternoon. She will be holding a rally at Cleveland State University tonight. They will both be back in Cleveland next Monday and Tuesday before the election. This 2008 primary is really starting to overshadow the Browns' Free Agent signings-so much so that I am beginning to think the Browns signed both Clinton and Obama. Can you even imagine? Let's Try:

CLEVELAND - The Browns made two signings today to shore up both their secondary and receiving corps by signing strong safety Hillary Clinton and slot receiver Barack Obama. Both players were signed to four-year contracts with the option for four more years, though no money is guaranteed for either player.

Clinton, a strong safety out of Wellesly College, has promised to defend the long bomb against defenders. Her services will come in handy as the Browns secondary only had 17 interceptions last year and is one of the youngest in the league. Clinton has been tauted as one of the most fiery veterans available, but has never been seen as a team player. "I don't care if people like me," Clinton said. "My coaches know I can get the job done and I am here to do that."

Obama, a slot reciever out of Columbia University, has promised to prove his critics around the league wrong who say he is too young to start. He has yet to show much in his first three years, but the Browns were willing to take a chance on him based on scouting reports. "I really think I can surprise some people at this level," Obama said. "I have fought through adversity before."

Browns fans seem torn on this decision by General Manager Phil Savage. It seems that 51 percent of the fans are happy, 47 percent of the fans are unhappy and two percent of the fans are undecided. Season ticket holder Dennis Kucinch* had this to say: "I am really disappointed they didn't at least try me out for the team. I might be little, but I really know how to fake people out."

*The writer of this blog is hopeful people will vote Dennis Kucinich out next Tuesday. Please consider voting for Joe Cimperman!