CRINGE

I know I said in my last post I wasn't going to write about Craig Albert, the Geauga County Commissioner trying to run for governor, but I HAVE to. I HAVE to make sure the people who live in Geauga County who read my blog know just how crazy their county commissioner is. I HAVE to warn you, the contents of this article may make you phyisically ill so make sure you haven't just eaten. If you don't think you can read the full article, and believe me it is hard to do, let me just tempt you with this beautiful passage regarding his idea of sterilization for welfare mothers:

"Albert insists he is not a racist. He says he has the same contempt for deadbeat white Appalachians."

I find this sentence so intriguing because he is assuming the only white people who cheat the welfare system are from Appalachia. I wonder if he considers Chardon and Thompson, two townships in his own county, Appalachia.

The L stands for Lazy

When it comes to updating this blog, I have been very lazy the past week. I could have been writing about the fun film festival I attended last week, or the midnight grilling of burgers and hot dogs on Sunday, or the Rainbow Wrangler benefit and a little woman named MO, or walking in the rain, or the hilarious recital of a green bean casserole recipe over the phone from my mother (“the ratio is whatever you want it to be”), or the incredible game LeBron had on Saturday night only to be followed up by one of his worst performances, or the crazy Geauga County Commissioner who thinks welfare moms should be sterilized (how embarrassing to be from that county!) or perhaps even the satisfying feeling of Spring cleaning.

It seems that everyday something happens to me and I say: “I should blog that”. Obviously my intentions are good but my follow-through needs a little work. To perpetuate my lazy blogging, I picked one of those crazy lists to fill out and post. I never thought I would do one of these but then when I started thinking back over the questions, it brought up so many fun memories and so many hard choices. Perhaps it will do the same for you if you haven’t already seen this list published somewhere (which means this is your first time on the internet because everyone posts this list, so if this is true: welcome and remember the back arrow will take you to the last page you visited.) Sure this blog has been handy for revealing my arrest stories, my love for LeBron and Tim Marshall and my encounters in Ohio City but if you don’t know my six favorite songs, do you really know me at all? I think not…


Six jobs I have had in my life:
-Wrapped beef jerky and cheese at a small market for my very first job ever
-Laminated maps in a factory
-Worked in sports information for five years
-Mystery Shopper
-Human Resources in Florida
-Admissions Counselor

Six movies I would watch over and over:
-Pretty Woman
-Tommy Boy
-Reality Bites
-Best In Show
-Thelma and Louise
-Dirty Dancing
(Wow this list makes me look not so smart. I just want everyone to know if it was seven movies, I would also pick Pride and Prejudice. Ahem.)

Six places I have lived:
-Cuyahoga Falls, OH
-Streetsboro, OH
-The Old Angle
-Athens, OH
-Cape Coral, FL
-Cleveland, OH

Six TV shows I love to watch:
-Seinfeld
-The Daily Show
-Six Feet Under (I still love the repeats)
-Sportscenter (in a weird way where I can watch the same episode six times in a row on any given morning)
-Girlfriends
-Best Week Ever

Six Songs I would listen to over and over:
-Sentimental Lady-Fleetwood Mac
-Baby Can I Hold You-Tracy Chapman
-The Weakness in Me-Melissa Etheridge version
-Deceptacon-Le Tigre
-Underneath Your Clothes-Shakira
-Emperor’s New Clothes-Sinead O’Connor

Six Musicians/Musical Groups I love:
-Ani DiFranco
-Fleetwood Mac
-Dance Hall Crashers
-Le Tigre
-Alix Olson
-Liz Phair

Six places I have been on vacation:
-Sunset Beach, NC
-Chicago, IL
-Key West, FL
-The Old Angle
-New York City
-Cape Cod

Six websites I visit daily:
-espn.com
-myspace.com
-mindy’s blog
-timmy’s blog
-msnbc.com
-cleveland.com

Six of my favorite foods:
-Any meal served at the Lobster Pot in Cape Cod
-Anything my dad grills
-The flank steak at the Old Angle
-Garlic Chicken dinner at Lemon Grass
-Chicken Wings
-Soup, Soup and Soup

Six places I would rather be right now:
-Provincetown
-Chrissy and Tina’s backyard in the fall
-Alison and Karen’s backyard in the summer
-Driving the Pacific Coast Highway
-Tucked away in my bed watching bad television
-The Old Angle

It's A Miracle

After three long months, Meg finally got her Polaroid pictures from Mindy’s bachelorette party and wedding on-line! The pictures provide an interesting behind-the-scenes look that a professional photographer might not ever be able to capture, or want to for that matter. Enjoy!

Easter Weekend Shout-Outs

Gotta send my Easter Weekend Shout outs to: Lounge Kitty for the campy entertainment, Tina, Chrissy, Shannon, Liz, Mindy, Ed and Judith for a night of fun at Prosperity, my server at George’s for bringing me two cokes at one time the next morning after seeing my look of dehydration, the cashier at Target for trying not to laugh at me, Pastor Bob and all the Pindells for teaching me what Easter is truly all about, DeNeitra for telling me to pull out my procession candle during Easter Vigil, the cashier at CVS who marked everything 50 percent off right before I did my Easter shopping, Hallmark for making the perfect card, the Lieberth kids for a fun and enjoyable Easter dinner, the lamb that sacrificed it’s life so we could enjoy said Easter dinner even more and of course to Maria who helped make this entire weekend spectacular (well except for the lamb part…she didn’t have anything to do with that.).

Choose Your Own Blog Adventure Part I

I wonder how many times I have started my blog with the following: I planned on making it an early night last night. As a matter of fact, Tim and I specifically talked about leaving after the opening act at the Beachland Ballroom and calling it a night around ten or so. Flash forward to Mindy and I posing in front of a convertible cabriolet outside of Cocktails and Tim and I splitting a City Place 21-piece shrimp basket dinner (with soup and salad included) and a chicken wrap at 1 am.

Apparently our communication was off on more than one occasion. We talked about meeting at my place between 6:30 and 7 so we could grab a bite before the show started at 9. As 7 came and went, I assumed Tim was just running late. Perhaps to put this into better perspective, it is important to note that Tim has no cell phone right now and I have no door bell on the front door of my apartment where I live on the second floor. At about 7:20 I hear a loud knock on the downstairs door. Finally! Tim has arrived. The following conversation then took place:
Me: How long have you been standing down here?
Tim: Oh maybe 15 minutes
Me: 15 minutes! I am so sorry
Tim: Yeah, I got here around 6:15…what time is it now?
Me: Uh…you have been standing out here for an hour?
Tim: I guess so. Does your landlord live across the street?
Me: No that is her sister…why?
Tim: Well she has been staring at me.
Me: You have been standing out here for an hour on my porch, I am glad she has been staring at you. Ah well…ready for dinner?
Tim: Sure

Off to the Old Angle we went where my palate was quenched with the incomparable flank steak (a slight difference from the evening’s next meal at a 24-hour diner). From the Old Angle, we headed to the Beachland Ballroom. Even though we asked for directions at the Angle, we still managed to get lost on our way, which has become our pattern. The last time we went together we got lost as well. We always seem to have the same conversation as soon as we realize we are lost.
Me: Well you know I am not really from Cleveland. I grew up almost 30 minutes from here.
Tim: Oh I know. You know I am not really from Cleveland and I have only lived here for five years.
Me: See? It isn’t such a big deal that we get lost every time we come to this venue that we have probably been to 20 times combined.
Tim: Definitely.
I still don’t think I know the right way to get there. If I was giving someone directions, I would tell them to skip the actual exit, get off at the next exit, get back on the highway, get back off at the original exit and take a right.

To find out more about the show and the rest of the evening’s activities, you need to check out Tim's blog followed by a quick stop at Mindy's blog to see how the evening ended. If you feel comfortable only knowing this much about my evening, you will want to stop here.

Have You Read The Latest Tim?

At the risk of giving one of my friends a huge ego, I must indeed stroke his ego for just one moment. When I get to work, I have a system of doing things. Upon my arrival, I: log on, check personal e-mail, read ESPN.com, check myspace.com, get on instant messenger, talk to co-workers, log on to work databases and read work-related e-mail. Sure my priorities are a little off, but we are slow this time of year so I have time to catch up with friends and personal interests on the internet. I must now add a new activity in between ESPN.com and myspace.com. I now check Tim’s blog each and every morning.

Tim started his blog only a couple weeks ago but it has quickly become one of my favorite reads in the morning. I am not alone. Brewed Fresh Daily, the who’s who of Cleveland blogs has also picked him up on several occasions. This morning after reading his latest post and feeling just a little smarter for doing so, I called Mindy and said: “Have you read the latest Tim?” She replied with: “A little but I will call you back to discuss when I get more time.”

I feel as if his blog has replaced the op-ed pieces I encounter but don’t feel connected to. I am grateful he has found the time to actually put his name and effort into this new creative vehicle. By writing this piece I feel like a stuffy old aristocrat discussing a piece of art but his work is that good. If you haven’t had the chance to read the latest Tim, you simply must find the time dahlings!

Why You May Not See Me Ever Again (or at least until the end of April)

On Friday night I hooked up cable in my bedroom. This in essence would be the kiss of death for my social life. Now I can just wake up and turn on ESPN or whatever marathon show they may be showing on VH1, BET, Style or E!. Instead of writing about my adventures out and about in Cleveland, I will most likely just be commenting on television. To make matters worse, April is Take-Out Month at Johnny Mango, my local eatery. So in between shows, I run down the street and get 10 percent off on some of my favorite foods.

I would like to take this moment to introduce my new segment on this blog: What show did I get hooked on this weekend? This weekend I was introduced to College Hill on BET. This show is like a Real World Reality show but it takes place at a Historically Black College or University. It is definitely worth a few laughs, though that may have been the mimosa making me laugh as well. Hey… I said I was going to be hanging out in my bedroom, I didn’t say I still wasn’t going to be classy and have a good time.

Two Letters

Dear Rembrandt,
Kudos to your advertising agency for catching my attention the other night in between spins on the Wheel of Fortune. How could I not look up when I heard the following: “Do you like to smoke? Do you like to drink red wine? Do you like to drink coffee in the morning? Well if you do, we have the teeth whitener for you!” It is so nice to see advertisers reaching out to my target audience. You just don’t see enough companies reaching out to all three of these categories at once. Thank you Rembrandt for making me feel accepted in society.

Dear Sportscasters,
I am getting tired of all the sportscasters who are blowing their own horns because they picked Florida to win last night. None of the so-called experts even picked two of the final four teams this year. So you finally got one right. You had a fifty percent shot at picking the winner and Florida has been dominating the whole tournament. Congratulations. Somebody should take a cue from Jay Bilas who was humble enough last night to joke he picked UConn at the beginning of the tournament and he is sticking with his selection. It is not the job of sportscasters to jump on bandwagons and pat themselves on the back for picking teams correctly. That is the fan’s job. Your job is to be objective. Next year why even bother with all your pre-tournament analysis? Just wait until the championship game and make a pick so you can prove your expertise.

Sincerely Yours,
Sportygrrl