So That Is What My Doorbell Sounds Like

At about 10:30 pm I heard my doorbell for the first time ever. I sat there stunned for a second unaware of what the noise could possibly be. Then I realized it must be my doorbell for the back door. As I walked downstairs I could not imagine who would be stopping by at this time of night. (Okay, okay, that last part is a lie I have some crazy friends who stop by whenever they want to, but I thought it would add some suspense to the story.) I pulled back the curtains and began talking to a woman I had never seen before through my window as if one of us was in prison. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Yes?
Strange woman at my door: That vacuum out in your trash…that work?
Me: Uh…vacuum in my trash? Oh, my neighbor is moving he must have thrown it away.
Strange woman at my door: Cuz uh I don’t want to be carrying no vacuum home and not have it work.
Me: I understand that would be a real hassle. Sorry I can’t help you.
Strange woman at my door: Is your neighbor home? Maybe I can talk to him.
Me: Sorry he isn’t around.
Strange woman at my door: Shit. Well, thanks anyway.
Me: Okay, have a good night.

She didn’t end up taking the vacuum. I guess the chance of it actually working wasn’t enough to overtake the struggle to haul it down the street.