I Love Vicodin and Other Random Sunday Morning Thoughts

Let me just start this entry out by saying, I am sick. I don’t think I have ever felt this sick for so long in my life. Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon and part of the evening in the Emergency Room. I now have prescriptions for Vicodin and Cipro, which don’t really seem to be helping me as I can no longer swallow or talk and drool has become the new problem of the day. Let me tell you, good times all around. There is nothing like grinding up vicodin with a spoon to make you feel like a total junkie first thing Sunday morning. It isn’t all bleak though, there are some good things happening:

-Football starts for real today. I am so excited as this may very well be my favorite day of the year. As soon as I hear Chris Berman and Tom Jackson’s voice on ESPN’s Sunday Morning Countdown, I know I will get goose bumps and I don’t think they will be related to my fever and the mass amount of pills I am taking. The best part is I am supposed to lie down on the couch all day and watch football. I really have no other choice. Ahem.

-Speaking of pills. I have found there is an inverse relationship between the amount of drugs you take and your accountability. It is so nice now when I put my foot in mouth to just say: “Whoops, that’s the Vicodin talking—you know I don’t really feel that way.”

-Not being able to swallow food has really been a nice and easy way to diet these past couple days.

-Trying to have a conversation with anyone is like playing a game show, so there is the built-in entertainment factor at work as well.

Feel free to call or write. I am looking for anything to cheer me up today. I do have to warn you if you call, you won’t be able to understand a thing I am saying and I will blame most things on the Vicodin.