Maybe Next Year, Eh?

I hardly ever pay attention to the Stanley Cup Finals in hockey. This is true for many Americans. Canadians on the other hand are a different breed. They live and breathe hockey there as I found out on my recent trip to Toronto when I overheard a conversation at breakfast. What I heard was a conversation regarding hockey between an elderly woman and a gay man (see: everyone there loves hockey!). She was saying things like (sorry I cant do the accent on the blog): "We HAVE to do it this year. We HAVE to bring the trophy back here where it belongs." I was amazed by how she kept going on and on, while I, an avid sports fan, didn't have any idea who was even playing in the finals. Unfortunately for that woman and almost every other Canadian, the Anaheim Ducks beat the Ottawa Senators last night to keep the cup here in America where it has been since 1993. I almost feel bad for all the Canadians who don't think Americans deserve to win hockey championships because we probably don't. With this being said, I think Canada should change its national anthem from O Canada to Aw Canada.

Leave Us Alone

I graduated with an undergraduate degree in public relations, which is going to make this next sentiment seem really strange, but the Cavaliers are getting too much press. I love the CAVS. This is no secret. Everyone in Cleveland it seems loves the CAVS, and now everyone in the country seems to love the CAVS, so what is my problem? The problem is if Cleveland is going to be a viable underdog, they can't do it with so much press. Everytime I turn around a so-called expert is picking the CAVS, interviewing LeBron James, asking the Spurs how they can possibly match up with the CAVS. We have moved from underdog, to trendy underdog to the trendy pick to win it all since our clinching victory over Detroit.

Give us a chance to be the underdog in this series. Nobody thought we could beat Detroit this year, which made that series victory so sweet. If people start picking us to win this thing, they curse us and they take away the glamour of Cleveland being the underdog. Let us be the Detroit Pistons of 2004. If you recall nobody picked them to beat the Lakers that year, and when they did they became everyone's favorite underdog. I even cheered for them and I have always hated the Pistons. At this point I would like the national media to just leave us alone, to not like us, to not pick us to win it all. Don't curse Cinderella before midnight even arrives. We already have enough curses to overcome just by playing in Cleveland.

*As a sidenote, I do not care what we do against the Spurs. Beating the Pistons in 6 games was sweet enough for me.

Cleveland+ Is Smiling This Morning

Sportygrrl Went To Toronto And All You Get Is This Lousy Blog Entry

I am back in the states (I have always wanted to say that) after being tourist extraordinaire in Canada and Western New York the past couple days. There were many attractions visited and much beer drank in a short amount of time, but I am sure I remember enough of it to pass on.

On Thursday we arrived at our crazy bed and breakfast. We were greeted by a large deer head, a crazy umbrella and hat collection and the most eccentric collection of stuff that followed us all over the house. Our room actually ended up being the whole third floor of an old victorian house with our own private bathroom that had a hot tub and a private rooftop deck that allowed you to see the city skyline. One amenity that was not mentioned on the website was that we were right across the street from The Beer Store-that was quite a bonus.

We actually didn't spend much time at the bed and breakfast because every morning after breakfast-a huge spread of eggs, potatoes, sausage, bacon and fresh fruit-we headed out on our urban adventure. Our first night there we ate at the oldest restaurant in the city called the Senator Diner, where I got the Macaroni and Cheese that came with homemade ketchup-everything in Canada is served with ketchup, which is why I loved this trip so much! After dinner, we went to see Evil Dead The Musical, on our walk home we spotted the CAVS game from outside a bar called The Beer Cellar, and went in for a couple of beers and finished watching the game. On Friday we went out on our much-anticipated double-decker bus tour around the city, made a quick stop at the CN Tower, ate lunch at the best thai restaurant in the city, Green Mango, adventured around the West side of the city in search of hats and books and caught a French fim that night at the local film festival. On Saturday there was an event called Doors Open Toronto, where most of the buildings in the city opened their doors for tours. We chose to tour the old Distillery section of town, which was followed by a self-guided tour through the south side of town straight to the Steam Whistle Brewery. At the brewery we were allowed unlimited beer and access to the old-fashioned photo booth where I seized the opportunity to take my picture while drinking beer. After the Steam Whistle we headed back to enjoy some beverages from The Beer Store, took advantage of a sunny day on the rooftop deck and then headed out for the night. We had a magnificent dinner at a restaurant called Hair of the Dog, where we enjoyed calamari, peppercorn ribeye steak and lamb stew. From there we were let into a concert free of charge just because we got there late. We were able to catch a group we were interested in seeing all weekend called Kids on TV, a crazy queer punk, electric band that was incredibly engaging. We had just enough money for the cab to make it back to our bed and breakfast that evening, which showed that we used all of our Canadian resources to the fullest. We headed out of the city on Sunday to do some last minute things, like pick up some funny t-shirts and our favorite alcoholic beverages to take back with us.

We weren't quite done being tourists as a we made a pit-stop in Niagara Falls. This is where my nerdy side came out, because I was determined to catch a movie on the history of Niagara Falls at the visitor center. After the typical pictures that everyone takes at the falls and the movie, we headed south to Buffalo to eat at The Anchor, the birthplace of wings. As you may know from my many previous entries on this blog, I am a huge lover of chicken wings, so visiting this place was better than many of the attractions we caught in Toronto. After filling ourselves with wings and spilling sauce on myself, we headed back to Cleveland where the skyline looked so small in comparison to Toronto. However, it was good to be home for Memorial Day to cook out, while still enjoying the fruits of our trip by drinking the Canadian beer we bought on our way out of the country. Shhh...don't tell border patrol!

Cleveland's Great, But It's Time For A Vacation!

This past weekend I tried two new experiences that made me realize how much I love living in Cleveland. On Saturday we went to the roller derby. If you get the chance I highly recommend catching a bout next month in North Olmsted. (Technically if its taking place in North Olmsted, I guess its really Cleveland+) This experience is the most fun you can have at an indoor soccer complex drinking beer out of a can watching women skate around in circles trying to knock each other down. On Sunday we decided to take a more sophisticated approach to the city as we walked around my neighborhood and did the Ohio City Home Tour.

While I love the summertime in Cleveland, it is time for a small break, so I will be spending this Memorial Day Weekend in Toronto. Tomorrow at this time I will be laying out on the sandy beaches of Toronto breathing in the fresh air coming off of Lake Ontario. Wait...thats not right. Tomorrow at this time I will be at the duty free buying cheap bottles of my favorite vodka. Either way, I am looking forward to getting away for a couple days. A full update should be expected upon my return. Have a safe and enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend!

If You Or Someone You Know Myspaces...You Should Read This

Yes I have a myspace page. Yes I am 31 years old. No I am not a sexual predator.

With that said, I know I am a little old to have a myspace page, but I promise I don't use it for creepy reasons (well I guess that depends on how you define creepy). I know a lot of other people my age with a myspace page who use it as flippantly as I use mine. I never thought twice about it until I read this article on the dangers of myspace. I always thought that if I wasnt a naive teenager I would be safe on myspace, and I could ignore all those warnings about how dangerous this website could be. Apparently I was wrong. It really does get you thinking about how you should limit the number of drunk pictures you post of yourself on-line...

Only At Wal-Mart

I am proud to say I don't go to Wal-Mart very often, but I am ashamed to say when I do go, I get sucked in for hours. Once inside, all my political views go right out the door when I see their prices and the intriguing deals only Wal-Mart can offer. I have never seen things packaged together like they are at Wal-Mart. The shampoo comes with hair gel for $4.89, and the body soap comes with lotion for only $3.94. My favorite combo had to be the box of tampons I saw with a free tube of Banana Boat Glow Face. Along with your tampons you get something described as this: "Banana Boat® EveryDay Glow Face Daily Moisturizer SPF 20 uses self-activating tanners to enhance your skin’s natural tone." Can someone please explain to me how these two things go together? Somehow when you are inside the confines of Wal-Mart this makes sense.

Why You Should Not Drink At A Silent Auction

I got a voicemail yesterday that went like this:
"This is Cleveland Public Theatre and we wanted you to know, you had the winning bid from Saturday's silent auction (There was a long pause here that really scared me because I could not imagine what I had won or even what I had bid on.) You won the season pass to the Wexner Center for the Arts for the 2007-2008 season."

Apparently I bid on this item which I vaguely remember. What I find so funny is that the Wexner Center is located in Columbus. Somewhere in between all those free martinis Saturday night I must have thought I should be spending more time in our state capital watching more artistic movies and plays. The weird thing is that I don't really even do this in Cleveland and I live here.

Holy Gas Prices Batman!

One of the benefits of getting a new car was the gas mileage. However it doesn't matter when I still have to pay $50 to fill up my car. I am lucky I only drive 5 miles a day to get back and forth from work, but it's still crazy. Isn't there someone we can go to war with to fix this problem? Oh wait...apparently that's what we have not been trying to do for the past 17 years.

My Stylist Knows I Tip Better After Two Glasses Of Wine

Last night as I got my hair done, I enjoyed a couple glasses of wine during the process. I love that my stylist Troy offers up free wine while applying highlights, as we gossip about everything under the sun. This is one of the reasons I will probably never leave him as my stylist--that and the fact his price has not gone up once in five years for highlights and a cut. It is amazing I have been going to the same person for five years, yet unfortunate that the longest relationship I have had in my life has been with my stylist. It helps that it is a low-maintenance relationship (just like my hair).

I Am Not Afraid Of The Cleveland+ Mafia

I got the following voicemail yesterday:
“Looks like someone is too afraid of the Cleveland+ Mafia to voice their opinion.”

It's true I do believe there is a Cleveland+ Mafia watchdog group keeping an eye on blogs and feedback, but I am not afraid of these people. For those of you unfamiliar with this issue, Cleveland+ is the new marketing campaign focusing not only on Cleveland but all of Northeast Ohio which will cost millions in marketing. In essence the plan wants to incorporate Akron, Canton and Youngstown to lure tourists, businesses and to give residents of the area a big helping of regionalism. I wanted to take some time to research the issue more before I went on the record, or at least put it on my blog where 3-4 people could read my opinion.

Let me just say as a Believe in Clevelander: I am not thrilled with the whole “Cleveland+” marketing campaign. I would also like to say I believe in regionalism. The fact that Parma, Parma Heights and North Olmsted are considering combining fire departments makes perfect sense to me. Akron adverstising the Cleveland Museum of Art, located on their tourist site does not. Maybe Believe in Cleveland made me this way, maybe I am a Cleveland elitest now. Thanks a lot Hanford Dixon! I just don't get how this particular catch phrase makes sense. The campaign involves Cleveland and all cities within an hours drive (including my hometown of Shalersville, OH, which is a huge tourist stop now thanks to Cleveland+).

The campaign is saying to me, if you liked Cleveland, you are going to love Cleveland+, but what exactly does the plus stand for? What happens to the identity of all the other cities? Now Canton is home to not only the Pro Football Hall of Fame, but also the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? I do agree with the original concept of trying to bring Northeast Ohio together, but why make it so that everyone else rides the coattails of Cleveland? I think it puts unfair pressure on Cleveland, which is struggling to support itself, to support everyone else too. To me this whole issue makes Cleveland that kid in gym class who gets stuck picking kids for his team that he isn't sure about. "Ok, uhhhh....I will take Akron. Uh....Hmmm....Youngstown, and...let's see...I guess Canton is the only one left, so I will take Canton too." Now Cleveland is in charge of making this team win because the soap box derby only runs one day a year in Akron, The Pro Football Hall of Fame doesn't change very often and the Canfield County Fair only runs for a week. The focus on Cleveland is too much. To exemplify this, here is a quote from Kristie Van Auken, one of the branding gurus of Cleveland+ and The Akron-Canton Airport Director of Marketing and Communications, regarding the unveiling of Cleveland+. In her press release, she sold this great new idea by saying: "Did you know that the Cleveland Indians, Cleveland Cavaliers, and the Cleveland Browns are all within a 45 minute drive of the Akron Canton Airport?" This makes it seem that the point of the campaign is to let people know how far away they are from enjoying Cleveland. Perhaps we should just call it Mapquest+ (just don't let the Cleveland+ Mafia know I said that because I might just be a little afraid).

My Mom Always Hoped I Would Fall For A Good Catholic Boy

I will be the first to admit I was relieved when the Browns took Joe Thomas with the third pick in last week's draft instead of Brady Quinn. I didn't want Brady Quinn, but at that time I didn't know that I just didn't want him with the third pick in the draft. After watching Quinn get passed up by team after team after team, I began to feel for him, and then something even weirder happened: I wanted him to play for the Browns. As the seconds ticked down on the Dallas pick, I kept hoping Phil Savage would make the trade to get Quinn. When he finally completed the trade, I literally pumped my fist in the air. I couldn't believe it! I pumped my fist in the air for a quarterback from Notre Dame. What was going on here? I couldn't help it. He won my heart over as he sat there for four hours, so patient and calm as millions and millions of guaranteed dollars went through his grasp. I think during this time I even developed a little crush on the guy. Yesterday at work I had the following Instant Messenger conversation with my sports-talking co-worker (The names remain the same as there are no innocent people here to protect):

[17:44] Michele: i think i want a brady quinn jersey. do you think its too early?
[17:44] Bill: follow your heart...
[17:45] Michele: i might have a man crush on him
[17:45] Bill: really?
[17:45] Bill: You're already a Brady Bunch convert?
[17:45] Michele: i might be
[17:45] Michele: can't tell yet, but i like looking at his picture
[17:46] Bill: wow!
[17:46] Bill: I don't know what to say.
[17:46] Bill: have you blogged about these feelings, yet?

So now under my list of things to do, I can put a check next to: Blogging about my "unnatural" feelings for Brady Quinn.

My Dad Would Be Proud

Even with a tornado watch, I was still resilient. I debated grilling out tonight, but I still decided to move forward. I am glad I did.

It Was Bound To Happen

From the Cleveland State University Home Page:

Important Safety Message from President Michael Schwartz

I wish to share with you our response to a disturbing event. Some hand-written graffiti was found in a restroom stall in Main Classroom yesterday afternoon which threatens a repeat of the Virginia Tech event for May 12 – our commencement day.

I view this with grave concern and am taking every precaution to insure that our campus and commencement exercises are safe and secure and that commencement is the joyous occasion that all of us expect. To that end, the University Police have been in touch with the City of Cleveland’s Police Department and I have asked Governor Strickland for assistance from the Ohio Highway Patrol. The Governor has assured me of that help and I already have spoken to the Director of Public Safety and officials at the Highway Patrol. In addition, I have ordered that there be metal detectors at all entrances to the Wolstein Center on commencement day. You can be of special help to the University by keeping us informed of any suspicious activity and suspect behavior that you note or that may be related to this issue. You can call the University Police at 687.2020. We are determined to make our campus as safe and secure as it can be.

I appreciate your concern and, needless to say, I share it. As events warrant, I will keep you informed.

Not to make light of the situation, but after seeing this, my co-worker said: "Can you imagine if they acted like this with everything written on a bathroom stall?"

Generation Why?

(Please, please forgive me for doing this, but I am about to bring up that stupid Don Imus issue with the Rutgers Women's Basketball team...)
As I was standing in line at my local grocery store this weekend, I glanced up at the Newsweek with Don Imus and the Rutgers basketball team on the cover. The headline called this particular women's basketball team the next generation. I still can't figure out why they were termed the next generation of anything. Of all the people that were affected during this ordeal, I honestly think the women on this team were affected the least, or at least they were mature enough to act that way. With this in mind they aren't the next generation of protesters and I don't think they are the next generation of women to get harassed, because I don't see where one generation would end and begin with that distinction. So then what was Newsweek calling them the next generation for? They were innocent bystanders in a stupid situation. PERHAPS they are the next generation of innocent bystanders to be harassed in a stupid situation. That could be the case because they definitely aren't pioneers in that field-history has made sure of that.

My First Sunburn Of The Year

Yesterday was such a beautiful day in Cleveland that I decided I wanted to get out of the house and play in the sunshine. My playground for the day turned out to be the Lake Erie shoreline, which I always seem to rediscover every time I see it.

We started out at Edgewater Park to take pictures, made a pit-stop at a friends house, grabbed a bite at Max's deli in Rocky River and then headed to Columbia Park in Bay Village, all the while taking in all the magnificent houses along Lake Avenue from Rocky River to Bay Village.

We got some great pictures from Edgewater with the skyline in the background and of the waterfall at Columbia Park, which I kept saying existed but I just couldn't remember where.

This would explain why we went all the way to Bay Village because I was not about to stop until we found it. I was just like an exloper yesterday, though I probably should have put on more sunscreen. I wonder what SPF Christopher Columbus used to wear.

"I Think I Got A Speeding Ticket Last Night"

This is exactly what I said to my friends last Tuesday and everyone I told said: "You think?? Didn't the officer give you a ticket?" No my friends I wasn't stopped by a police officer last Monday night, but my premonition was proven true today as I opened my mail addressed from Operation Safe Streets. I thought I got the ticket because as I drove past the nice cameras on 106th and Clifton Boulevard, my car got her picture taken with three quick flashes and my stomach sank knowing full well what had just happened. In case I wanted copies of the pictures they were sent to me today with a nice letter telling me I owed the city of Cleveland $100. As I stood there wondering how I could fight it, knowing full well of my guilt, I just kept staring at the pictures they had of me coming, passing and finally from the back of my car going 15 miles over the speed limit. I just said to myself: "guilty as charged." There is a positive spin however because you don't get any points on your license when you don't get pulled over by a cop. So I guess the moral of the story is: if you are going to speed, avoid the cops and aim for the cameras. You might as well get some nice shots of your new car in the process.

Apparently I Blog Too Much

I walked down to The Old Angle tonight to get some wings, but the bar was full, so I just kept walking. I think I have been talking The Old Angle up too much and now people are starting to infiltrate my favorite bar. Perhaps I should say this: I hate The Old Angle and Major Hooples and The Winking Lizard (only the downtown and Lakewood spots), and The Parkview and Twist and Touch Supper Club and McNamaras and Lincoln Park Pub and Lava Lounge and Prosperity and Bounce. If you are considering going to any of these spots, you probably shouldn't (unless you are with me).

TGIF-Free Jukebox Style

I should have gotten a picture! I don't know why I didn't get a picture of the view from Major Hooples during the snowstorm Friday night. The view itself is gorgeous (see picture).However the snow made it even more spectacular. It would have been the perfect way to reveal what a great evening it was to live in Cleveland. Friday night started out in a local dive bar with what turned out to be a private game of darts, as my opponent and I were the only inhabitants in the place. Lucky for us that meant we also ruled over the free jukebox and the attention of the bartender. From there we got a fake distress call to go to Major Hooples, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite places . (Apparently my friends don't think I will show up quick enough unless they send fake messages of help.)

From our private game of darts on one side of Cleveland, we headed to Major Hooples located on the west bank of Cleveland to catch up with some old friends. While there we played bar bowling and got free drinks from the owner who also let us play free music on the jukebox. At this point in the evening we also got a message that the Detroit Cobras were playing at the Beachland Ballroom. As much as I would have loved to have seen the Detroit Cobras play, there was something about Major Hooples that made it hard to leave. It may have been my singing and dancing friends, or the free drinks, or the opening day crowd that had stumbled over from Jacobs Field, or the free music we got to put into the jukebox, but I think the main reason was the view of the snow falling on my favorite city. For those of you that were curious, the free drinks were a close second. Kidding...the free drinks were tied with my friends.

A Potpourri Of Clubbing Clothes, Peacepipes, Lunch Diets And Binge Drinking

I had so many things I wanted to write about today. Let me just touch upon a few of the highlights before I move on to the truly blog-worthy idea I found online.

First off, I had an interesting weekend working events for the women's basketball tournament. On Saturday, I found myself blocking the view of Geno Auriemma at the high school All-Star game as I was sitting in press row, and he of course was sitting wherever the hell he wanted to be sitting. I also scored tickets to the WNBA/WBCA after-party, but decided I may stick out too much to go. The person who gave me the tickets told me to try and blend in by wearing the clothes I would wear to go clubbing. I skipped that event. My clubbing clothes were at the cleaners.

Another blog idea was that I should mention I have started the Subway Challenge. Goodbye mayonnaise and cheese and hello honey mustard. I have decided to follow in Jared's footsteps and see if this six grams of fat marketing campaign actually works for lunch. That's right, I am only going to do it for lunch. It will take off the guilt from the wings and beer I will be consuming at dinner.

My original blog idea got bumped, so I thought I would just shorten it by giving a quick summary. Did anybody see that the Cleveland Indians played the St. Louis Cardinals in the Inaugural Civil Rights Game commemorating the civil rights movement in baseball? To stay true to the game, the Cleveland Indians removed Chief Wahoo off of their uniforms...for JUST this exhibition game. Doesn't it seem like more of a slap in the face to do that for just this game, and then put it back on for the regular season--ya know...the games that actually count. I think someone in marketing was smoking the peacepipe on this idea.

And finally the idea that trumps all others occurred just a little while ago as I was surfing the internet trying to find out the fat and calories in alcohol, to keep an accurate measurement of my Subway Challenge. I found someone else was doing a similar search, and had posted their questions for all the world to answer. I love this open letter almost as much as I want to find the person who wrote it so that I can hang out with them sometime. Enjoy...

"My favourite tipple is a double vodka with diet coke (the coke filled to the top) in a average glass served by pubs in the UK.
1. Can anyone tell me the average kcal calories content of a glass? 2. If I drank an average of 8-10 glasses of these on a weekend nightout, how many calories would I be consuming? 3. Would adding ice help reduce calorie content or increase sobriety? Or no different? 4. What is the lowest calories double spirits and mixer? (But withequal strength of alcohol)? 5. Does an increase in alcohol strength mean an increase in calories? 6. Is eating food (e.g. kebab, chips) after a drinking binge harmfulor not? e.g. helps reduce hangovers, or increases nausea in morningetc. What is recommended? Should I drink water before eating food, orafter eating food? Or both or does it make no different? Tips will be given for thorough answers."

I think I may have found my British counterpart!