Table For Two…Er… Make That Three

Last night Liz and I went to the Flying Fig to enjoy the incredibly cheap and delicious happy hour they serve in the lounge. We thought it would just be the two of us meeting to catch up, but we had an unexpected guest.

As we were sitting there enjoying a pre-dinner drink and talking, a woman came out from the back of the restaurant area and sat down at the table right next to us. (When I say table next to us, I actually mean the table only about a foot away. It is one of those setups where the person at the table next to you is closer than the person sitting across from you.) As she sat down, she looked familiar but I couldn’t place where I knew her. I also noticed she was crying hysterically as she sat her glass of red wine down and kept smoking her cigarette. At this point we let her use our ashtray when we noticed she was just ashing on the table and laughing hysterically but then would start crying again. It made things a little uncomfortable as we tried to carry on our conversation. Actually the point when things got really uncomfortable and weird was when she asked me to buy her a Bud Light. I looked at the full glass of wine in front of her with a confused look on my face and then I realized where I knew her from. She was the homeless woman who hangs out by the West Side Market. As I was putting two and two together, the bartender came up and took the glass of wine from her and said: “you have to stop stealing people’s drinks.” Yet he didn’t kick her out and when he walked away, she proceeded to light the wrong end of her cigarette. Instead of putting the cigarette out, she tried to smoke the wrong end while holding a big burning flame, and telling everyone at the bar to turn around and mind their own business.

When our food came, she moved over closer to us to see what we had ordered and commented on our food. At this point the smell from her clothes was more than I could stand. I motioned for the waiter and he came over and asked us if everything was ok. We looked at him and wondered if he actually thought this woman was with us and told him that in fact she was making us a little uncomfortable. The manager then tried to remove the woman but she wasn’t going quietly. She finally agreed to leave but still kept asking for a Bud Light. The whole experience was surreal: from the way she stole somebody’s full glass of wine and acted like it was hers, to the bartender taking it away from her, to her refusing to leave. After she left, Liz and I wondered out loud if the bartender just added some more wine to the glass and gave it back to the customer. They don’t call it the cheapest happy hour in Ohio City for nothing.

Growing Up Lieberth

Since I last posted to this blog, I have been enlightened in several different ways and I feel a whole lot smarter because of it. Let’s review…

Last Thursday I was part of a pilgrimage to Wayne State University to see Soul Latina. The article from the student newspaper describes it a lot better than I ever could, but I want to say it opened my eyes up to a lot of things I have never experienced. Let this also serve as a shameless plug for my girlfriend who is incredibly talented and proved it by writing one of the monologues on this national tour.

Speaking of things I have never experienced, on Friday I helped Maria take her braids out. It was enlightening to say the least. I spent most of the next evening explaining the process to my brother Mark who found it equally as amazing. There are just so many things you don’t experience growing up Lieberth*, which serves as a euphemism for white with a European heritage.

However the most important thing I learned over the past week had to be that no matter how much time you spend on your brackets, you are most likely going to lose. This is exactly what happened to me this year. Not that it would have really mattered because if you actually have all four of these teams in your Final Four, and your aren’t an alum of George Mason, than you are most likely a freak of nature and I don’t feel so bad.

I guess I just collapsed under the pressure of winning my bracket last year and trying to defend my crown. Oh well, at least I am smarter in other ways now. Life isn’t all about sports, right? I guess that would be the one thing you would experience growing up Lieberth*.

*Also used as an adjective by Mindy to describe weird and sporty behavior, such as "You are going to go to the game and act all Lieberth, aren't you?"

Back From Vacation

I am officially back to work from my vacation and what a vacation it was. Without ever leaving the city limits, I had a fantastic five-day weekend. Most of my time was spent watching basketball, but I was able to find some time in between to spend St. Patricks Day with family and friends at the Fulton and Bounce, go bowling with some crazy kids on Saturday and catch up with my parents on Sunday at the Old Angle.

It really is my favorite sports weekend of the year. How can you beat 48 games in four days? My brother asked me if I caught some of the games when I picked him up from the airport on Monday and I answered: “I think I watched somewhere around 44 games.” How I missed the other four games is beyond me. By the way, and I know this doesn’t really count because I have three different brackets, but I did pick Wichita State to beat George Mason in the Sweet 16 this weekend in one of my brackets. The over/under on that happening had to be about one percent, so I was feeling a little smug Sunday night, which also happened to be the night Tim introduced us to the buffet at Cocktails, so it might have been hard to tell why I was smiling.

All in all my vacation can be summed up in three words: velcro bowling shoes (pictured and worn by Maria Saturday night).

One Year Anniversary

Last night Karen, Alison and I celebrated our anniversary. I met them the Tuesday before the tournament last year and my life was forever changed when we started talking brackets and job positions. We found out we should have met on several different occasions but for whatever reason we met that night and I ended up winning $325 and two incredible friends!

Karen remarked on how it has been one crazy year together and that is a small understatement. As I look back over my blog, I see them everywhere and I realize how important their friendship has been to me. Without really knowing me, they helped me through a really rough part of my life and now I can’t help but laugh when I look back on the last year and think of: trespassing air hockey games, moving fiascos, impromptu dance parties, Journey, karaoke, long walks back from Corky’s, happy hours at Cronies, birthday parties, Halloween parties, the Literary, housewarming parties, holiday parties with huge fish and frog wine openers, listening to music and laughing in their backyard, wrestling around bonfires, Browns game adventures, New Year’s fun and so many more memories that will last a lifetime.

If the two of you are reading this, I don’t know if I can express enough how incredible it is to have people like you in my life. Every time I have needed your support, you have given it unconditionally and I just don’t know what I would have done without you this past year. I have actually thought about writing this on a couple of different occasions but it seems the most appropriate this morning after we spent last evening filling out brackets and laughing.

March Madness

This is how I am going to look for the next three days until I turn in all my brackets. I will be trying to figure out how George Washington was seeded so low and if they actually have a chance to beat Duke. Of course in my other bracket I have UNC-Wilmington beating GW. This is why it is always good to be in at least three or four different groups. In one you might look like an idiot but in the other you might look like a hoops genius. Looking forward to my two favorite days in sports: this Thursday and Friday with 12 hours of basketball action. And my boss thought I took these days off for St. Patrick's Day.

Red State. Blue Voter. I Tried.

Top Story From msnbc.com

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11759590/

Is anybody really surprised by this article? I remember Election Night 2004 and it still haunts me a little bit people didn’t see this coming. On this particular evening I found myself in the flats surrounded by a bunch of Republicans. It was scary but I felt cocky that evening. I felt sure of the election results so in a small way I wanted to be there. I wanted to see the look on their faces as the results flashed across the television. In the end though, I was the one who had to run out of the building. It was almost surreal to see people my age cheer for Bush after he won Florida. I looked around and felt like I saw my generation cheering against my own generation. I couldn’t believe it. I went home and sat glued in front of my television hoping against hope that it was all a big mistake. Surely Ohio would prevail as a blue state. It didn’t happen and today I look around and wonder how many of those people would have changed their votes if only they had known then what seemed so obvious to many of us.

I hate to say it but I feel if 9/11 would never have happened, Bush would not have won a second term. That day put so much fear into this country. Fear makes people do irrational things. His political life was saved that day and since then, so many lives have been lost. Perhaps his quote from August 2004 sums it up best:

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people and neither do we.”

How To Turn Me Into A Girly Girl

Sitting on my desk is this lovely arrangement of flowers. They were delivered to me today at work. Did you catch that last part? I got flowers delivered to me at my job. I never understood what the big deal was until today. I became the girliest girl ever when I started smelling them and touching them and walking them by everyone. The best part, however was who they were from. I am still smiling hours after the fact.

V for Vindication

Damon Jones was brought up on sexual assault charges earlier this week. Is anyone surprised? The back-up point guard for the CAVS is one of the cockiest men I have ever seen in sports. Unfortunately it is very easy for me to see him taking advantage of somebody who has less power than he does. Here is a man who claims he is the best shooter in the world; who turned on the fans of Cleveland before the All-Star break of his first season here and who uses the media and his coach against one another whenever it seems appropriate for him to do so. When these charges were released, he had one thing to say: “I will be vindicated.” Vindicated? Could he be a bigger martyr?

When I asked my co-worker Bill if he had heard about the charges, his remark was: “Sadly it isn’t surprising.” This just illustrates how low this man has fallen. When people aren’t surprised you have been brought up on sexual assault charges with no prior record, you apparently have much larger issues you may want to work on. If the charges are dropped, he needs to realize he is not above anyone or the law. Only then Mr. Jones will you deserve some sort of vindication.

Feel Free To Add A Caption...

Went bowling Sunday and took some pics with the always useful camera phone. My initial reaction was to get rid of this picture because it is so unflattering (and also because it is evidence that I broke our lane.) However, it sure does open the window to some fun captions. I will add two and if anyone else wants to, go ahead...

1. I don't know why I would get mad at my girlfriend for saying I have some Chris Farley attributes. Apparently she saw something I didn't.

2. I told you I have spent time in the gutter.

Just When I Thought My People Wouldn’t Make Me Look Like A Big Freaking Moron

On Sunday my girlfriend and I decided to make use of my Entertainment Book by going to get dinner at Klucks. (Those of you in the Kent and Bainbridge area should imagine a more vintage version of Henry Wehners. For those of you unfamiliar with it in Cleveland, you have most likely passed it a million times without realizing it because it’s located right on West 117th and Detroit.) I had been craving seafood and I have always been intrigued by this weird non-descript building, so I thought we could give it a chance. Though Maria was a little hesitant about getting seafood at a German restaurant named Klucks.

Once inside, it is hard to say what you might notice first. The unusual amount of mounted fish initially caught my eye, but the tacky nautical decorations, the big picture of Jesus above the front door and the amount of people taking advantage of the Early Bird Specials of schnitzel and fried shrimp are also hard to miss. As we walked in I guess you could say we stuck out as much as the mounted fish on the wall. I am going to go out on a limb and say this restaurant does not see a lot of interracial couples. Yet there we were as I was trying to show her how people of Eastern European descent eat their meals (in several courses with lots of bread) and she was trying not to notice she was the only black person who had probably ever eaten there.

Things actually went fairly well throughout the meal. The food was good, though smaller portions than what you might get at a similar restaurant, and our waitress was incredibly friendly. She seemed grateful to be serving people younger than 55. At one point I may have seen her mouth the words “help me” as if she was trapped in a scary movie, but that might have just been my imagination. Maria even made a joke about having my 31st birthday party at this joint. (It’s never too early to start planning a birthday party around schnitzel.) As you can see, the dinner seemed to be a success.

My people seemed to be behaving themselves. Nobody stared for longer than a minute and everyone seemed to be minding their own business. As we were finishing up, I noticed an older gentleman approaching us with a pamphlet in his hand. As I saw him skipping every other table of people and heading straight for us, I felt my heart drop. I may have even said a small prayer before he laid his playbill from the theatre down in front of us. He never took his eyes off of Maria as he said, “I don’t know if you have seen this play showing at the Cleveland Play House but I think you would really enjoy it. It is reminiscent of Rosa Parks but the woman in this play is from New York.” We were so close to leaving unscathed. He asked her to read over the program and then return it to him before we left. This was followed by the following quote: “I noticed your gypsy earrings when I walked in.” We kicked each other under the table as every word came out of his mouth.

We returned the program to this gentleman and he proceeded to give us his business card and phone number. Apparently he works for a large non-profit and considers himself an ambassador for Rosa Parks. For some reason, this made the whole thing that much worse. As we left, we noticed his wife must have been in the bathroom while this incident was taking place because there was a drink sitting in front of another chair. I made the remark that when she came back, she jokingly said something along the lines of: “you didn’t do anything stupid or embarrassing while I was gone, did you?”

This gentleman reminded me of a man my mother and I ran into last year at this time. Maybe it is the weather. Mom if you are reading this, it was a very similar feeling as our experience in the Chagrin Valley Little Theatre. Just that look of disbelief you can’t get off your face while you wonder if you are on candid camera.

Page 39

I have referenced page 39 of the Free Times 50 times in the past 24 hours. The reason? It is on that page where it was officially revealed The Fulton is going to close at the end of this month. I wish I could say it is all just a bad dream but it’s true. I am about to lose one of my favorite watering holes (I can only imagine how Mindy feels about this…).

Last night in honor of it’s last month, Tim, Liz and I went up to The Fulton and started swapping memories. I have only been going to The Fulton for the past three years but in that short time, there are so many funny adventures that either began there or ended there for myself and my friends.

My favorite story about The Fulton is from before I even really knew what it was. When I lived on the east side, I knew very little about Cleveland and the near west side. I was a typical suburbanite. When I wanted to find Mindy I usually got lost going to her house in that crazy Ohio City neighborhood. I would stop and ask for directions, but instead of asking where her street was, I would ask: “How do you get to the Fulton?” More times than not, if I needed Mindy, I knew I would find her there. She turned me on to this incredible bar and it is actually one of the reasons I chose to stay in Ohio City this summer. My criteria when looking for apartments was: close to downtown and friends and able to walk home from the Fulton.

We questioned our wait staff last night. Hell we even questioned the wait staff at the Flying Fig about it. Apparently everyone involved in the sale is happy with the decision. For a moment this made me feel better. But just for a moment.

Tell Me I Am Not The Only One

I hope I am not the only moron who has stopped somebody to tell them they have a smudge on their forehead today. I always forget about Ash Wednesday. For those of you keeping score at home, I think my last two entries illustrate how hard Lent is for me to comprehend.