How I Spent My Time In Between CAVS Games

From Kenny Chesney going home with me to biking through the metroparks, the three days in between CAVS games were jam-packed.


After the game on Thursday we bar hopped around Lakewood where we ended the night carrying home a life-size cut-out of Kenny Chesney. When my friend saw the cut-out by the DJ booth she told me she wanted it, so I decided to slide it out the window into the bushes to get on our way out. Operation Kenny Chesney was successful, and it began quite an eventful weekend.

A couple months ago, I took a personality quiz that told me I didn't appreciate art. After this weekend I scoff at that quiz. On Friday we met some friends for dinner at Momocho, where we got the margarita and guacamole samplers before heading off to Just Art. Just Art was a show curated by one of my best friends during the Tremont Art Walk. Just Art benefited Greater Cleveland Community Shares, which is an organization close to my heart because of all the work they do for non-profit organizations in Cleveland. On Saturday we headed south to attend the Columbus Art Festival. After the festival, I ate authentic ethiopian for the first time in my life. I am not one to shy away from most foods, so it was a fun experience. After dinner, we took advantage of being in a different city and went to the Columbus roller derby. On the drive home we decided we were craving wings, but it was too late to do anything about our craving.

On Sunday morning our craving was taken care of when we decided to have Sunday brunch at the Winking Lizard. Thankfully we beat the church crowds there. After some wings and beer (pictured), I went home to clean and then headed out for a 10-mile bike ride at the Metroparks. Apparently the best time to bike is right before a CAVS game because there were very few people on the bike path. Even though I tried to keep myself busy in anticipation of Game 2, the result for the CAVS was still the same. I am looking forward to game 3, but I don't think I will be nearly as busy in between games.

Maybe Next Year, Eh?

I hardly ever pay attention to the Stanley Cup Finals in hockey. This is true for many Americans. Canadians on the other hand are a different breed. They live and breathe hockey there as I found out on my recent trip to Toronto when I overheard a conversation at breakfast. What I heard was a conversation regarding hockey between an elderly woman and a gay man (see: everyone there loves hockey!). She was saying things like (sorry I cant do the accent on the blog): "We HAVE to do it this year. We HAVE to bring the trophy back here where it belongs." I was amazed by how she kept going on and on, while I, an avid sports fan, didn't have any idea who was even playing in the finals. Unfortunately for that woman and almost every other Canadian, the Anaheim Ducks beat the Ottawa Senators last night to keep the cup here in America where it has been since 1993. I almost feel bad for all the Canadians who don't think Americans deserve to win hockey championships because we probably don't. With this being said, I think Canada should change its national anthem from O Canada to Aw Canada.

Leave Us Alone

I graduated with an undergraduate degree in public relations, which is going to make this next sentiment seem really strange, but the Cavaliers are getting too much press. I love the CAVS. This is no secret. Everyone in Cleveland it seems loves the CAVS, and now everyone in the country seems to love the CAVS, so what is my problem? The problem is if Cleveland is going to be a viable underdog, they can't do it with so much press. Everytime I turn around a so-called expert is picking the CAVS, interviewing LeBron James, asking the Spurs how they can possibly match up with the CAVS. We have moved from underdog, to trendy underdog to the trendy pick to win it all since our clinching victory over Detroit.

Give us a chance to be the underdog in this series. Nobody thought we could beat Detroit this year, which made that series victory so sweet. If people start picking us to win this thing, they curse us and they take away the glamour of Cleveland being the underdog. Let us be the Detroit Pistons of 2004. If you recall nobody picked them to beat the Lakers that year, and when they did they became everyone's favorite underdog. I even cheered for them and I have always hated the Pistons. At this point I would like the national media to just leave us alone, to not like us, to not pick us to win it all. Don't curse Cinderella before midnight even arrives. We already have enough curses to overcome just by playing in Cleveland.

*As a sidenote, I do not care what we do against the Spurs. Beating the Pistons in 6 games was sweet enough for me.

Cleveland+ Is Smiling This Morning

Sportygrrl Went To Toronto And All You Get Is This Lousy Blog Entry

I am back in the states (I have always wanted to say that) after being tourist extraordinaire in Canada and Western New York the past couple days. There were many attractions visited and much beer drank in a short amount of time, but I am sure I remember enough of it to pass on.

On Thursday we arrived at our crazy bed and breakfast. We were greeted by a large deer head, a crazy umbrella and hat collection and the most eccentric collection of stuff that followed us all over the house. Our room actually ended up being the whole third floor of an old victorian house with our own private bathroom that had a hot tub and a private rooftop deck that allowed you to see the city skyline. One amenity that was not mentioned on the website was that we were right across the street from The Beer Store-that was quite a bonus.

We actually didn't spend much time at the bed and breakfast because every morning after breakfast-a huge spread of eggs, potatoes, sausage, bacon and fresh fruit-we headed out on our urban adventure. Our first night there we ate at the oldest restaurant in the city called the Senator Diner, where I got the Macaroni and Cheese that came with homemade ketchup-everything in Canada is served with ketchup, which is why I loved this trip so much! After dinner, we went to see Evil Dead The Musical, on our walk home we spotted the CAVS game from outside a bar called The Beer Cellar, and went in for a couple of beers and finished watching the game. On Friday we went out on our much-anticipated double-decker bus tour around the city, made a quick stop at the CN Tower, ate lunch at the best thai restaurant in the city, Green Mango, adventured around the West side of the city in search of hats and books and caught a French fim that night at the local film festival. On Saturday there was an event called Doors Open Toronto, where most of the buildings in the city opened their doors for tours. We chose to tour the old Distillery section of town, which was followed by a self-guided tour through the south side of town straight to the Steam Whistle Brewery. At the brewery we were allowed unlimited beer and access to the old-fashioned photo booth where I seized the opportunity to take my picture while drinking beer. After the Steam Whistle we headed back to enjoy some beverages from The Beer Store, took advantage of a sunny day on the rooftop deck and then headed out for the night. We had a magnificent dinner at a restaurant called Hair of the Dog, where we enjoyed calamari, peppercorn ribeye steak and lamb stew. From there we were let into a concert free of charge just because we got there late. We were able to catch a group we were interested in seeing all weekend called Kids on TV, a crazy queer punk, electric band that was incredibly engaging. We had just enough money for the cab to make it back to our bed and breakfast that evening, which showed that we used all of our Canadian resources to the fullest. We headed out of the city on Sunday to do some last minute things, like pick up some funny t-shirts and our favorite alcoholic beverages to take back with us.

We weren't quite done being tourists as a we made a pit-stop in Niagara Falls. This is where my nerdy side came out, because I was determined to catch a movie on the history of Niagara Falls at the visitor center. After the typical pictures that everyone takes at the falls and the movie, we headed south to Buffalo to eat at The Anchor, the birthplace of wings. As you may know from my many previous entries on this blog, I am a huge lover of chicken wings, so visiting this place was better than many of the attractions we caught in Toronto. After filling ourselves with wings and spilling sauce on myself, we headed back to Cleveland where the skyline looked so small in comparison to Toronto. However, it was good to be home for Memorial Day to cook out, while still enjoying the fruits of our trip by drinking the Canadian beer we bought on our way out of the country. Shhh...don't tell border patrol!

Cleveland's Great, But It's Time For A Vacation!

This past weekend I tried two new experiences that made me realize how much I love living in Cleveland. On Saturday we went to the roller derby. If you get the chance I highly recommend catching a bout next month in North Olmsted. (Technically if its taking place in North Olmsted, I guess its really Cleveland+) This experience is the most fun you can have at an indoor soccer complex drinking beer out of a can watching women skate around in circles trying to knock each other down. On Sunday we decided to take a more sophisticated approach to the city as we walked around my neighborhood and did the Ohio City Home Tour.

While I love the summertime in Cleveland, it is time for a small break, so I will be spending this Memorial Day Weekend in Toronto. Tomorrow at this time I will be laying out on the sandy beaches of Toronto breathing in the fresh air coming off of Lake Ontario. Wait...thats not right. Tomorrow at this time I will be at the duty free buying cheap bottles of my favorite vodka. Either way, I am looking forward to getting away for a couple days. A full update should be expected upon my return. Have a safe and enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend!

If You Or Someone You Know Myspaces...You Should Read This

Yes I have a myspace page. Yes I am 31 years old. No I am not a sexual predator.

With that said, I know I am a little old to have a myspace page, but I promise I don't use it for creepy reasons (well I guess that depends on how you define creepy). I know a lot of other people my age with a myspace page who use it as flippantly as I use mine. I never thought twice about it until I read this article on the dangers of myspace. I always thought that if I wasnt a naive teenager I would be safe on myspace, and I could ignore all those warnings about how dangerous this website could be. Apparently I was wrong. It really does get you thinking about how you should limit the number of drunk pictures you post of yourself on-line...

Only At Wal-Mart

I am proud to say I don't go to Wal-Mart very often, but I am ashamed to say when I do go, I get sucked in for hours. Once inside, all my political views go right out the door when I see their prices and the intriguing deals only Wal-Mart can offer. I have never seen things packaged together like they are at Wal-Mart. The shampoo comes with hair gel for $4.89, and the body soap comes with lotion for only $3.94. My favorite combo had to be the box of tampons I saw with a free tube of Banana Boat Glow Face. Along with your tampons you get something described as this: "Banana Boat® EveryDay Glow Face Daily Moisturizer SPF 20 uses self-activating tanners to enhance your skin’s natural tone." Can someone please explain to me how these two things go together? Somehow when you are inside the confines of Wal-Mart this makes sense.

Why You Should Not Drink At A Silent Auction

I got a voicemail yesterday that went like this:
"This is Cleveland Public Theatre and we wanted you to know, you had the winning bid from Saturday's silent auction (There was a long pause here that really scared me because I could not imagine what I had won or even what I had bid on.) You won the season pass to the Wexner Center for the Arts for the 2007-2008 season."

Apparently I bid on this item which I vaguely remember. What I find so funny is that the Wexner Center is located in Columbus. Somewhere in between all those free martinis Saturday night I must have thought I should be spending more time in our state capital watching more artistic movies and plays. The weird thing is that I don't really even do this in Cleveland and I live here.

Holy Gas Prices Batman!

One of the benefits of getting a new car was the gas mileage. However it doesn't matter when I still have to pay $50 to fill up my car. I am lucky I only drive 5 miles a day to get back and forth from work, but it's still crazy. Isn't there someone we can go to war with to fix this problem? Oh wait...apparently that's what we have not been trying to do for the past 17 years.

My Stylist Knows I Tip Better After Two Glasses Of Wine

Last night as I got my hair done, I enjoyed a couple glasses of wine during the process. I love that my stylist Troy offers up free wine while applying highlights, as we gossip about everything under the sun. This is one of the reasons I will probably never leave him as my stylist--that and the fact his price has not gone up once in five years for highlights and a cut. It is amazing I have been going to the same person for five years, yet unfortunate that the longest relationship I have had in my life has been with my stylist. It helps that it is a low-maintenance relationship (just like my hair).

I Am Not Afraid Of The Cleveland+ Mafia

I got the following voicemail yesterday:
“Looks like someone is too afraid of the Cleveland+ Mafia to voice their opinion.”

It's true I do believe there is a Cleveland+ Mafia watchdog group keeping an eye on blogs and feedback, but I am not afraid of these people. For those of you unfamiliar with this issue, Cleveland+ is the new marketing campaign focusing not only on Cleveland but all of Northeast Ohio which will cost millions in marketing. In essence the plan wants to incorporate Akron, Canton and Youngstown to lure tourists, businesses and to give residents of the area a big helping of regionalism. I wanted to take some time to research the issue more before I went on the record, or at least put it on my blog where 3-4 people could read my opinion.

Let me just say as a Believe in Clevelander: I am not thrilled with the whole “Cleveland+” marketing campaign. I would also like to say I believe in regionalism. The fact that Parma, Parma Heights and North Olmsted are considering combining fire departments makes perfect sense to me. Akron adverstising the Cleveland Museum of Art, located on their tourist site does not. Maybe Believe in Cleveland made me this way, maybe I am a Cleveland elitest now. Thanks a lot Hanford Dixon! I just don't get how this particular catch phrase makes sense. The campaign involves Cleveland and all cities within an hours drive (including my hometown of Shalersville, OH, which is a huge tourist stop now thanks to Cleveland+).

The campaign is saying to me, if you liked Cleveland, you are going to love Cleveland+, but what exactly does the plus stand for? What happens to the identity of all the other cities? Now Canton is home to not only the Pro Football Hall of Fame, but also the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? I do agree with the original concept of trying to bring Northeast Ohio together, but why make it so that everyone else rides the coattails of Cleveland? I think it puts unfair pressure on Cleveland, which is struggling to support itself, to support everyone else too. To me this whole issue makes Cleveland that kid in gym class who gets stuck picking kids for his team that he isn't sure about. "Ok, uhhhh....I will take Akron. Uh....Hmmm....Youngstown, and...let's see...I guess Canton is the only one left, so I will take Canton too." Now Cleveland is in charge of making this team win because the soap box derby only runs one day a year in Akron, The Pro Football Hall of Fame doesn't change very often and the Canfield County Fair only runs for a week. The focus on Cleveland is too much. To exemplify this, here is a quote from Kristie Van Auken, one of the branding gurus of Cleveland+ and The Akron-Canton Airport Director of Marketing and Communications, regarding the unveiling of Cleveland+. In her press release, she sold this great new idea by saying: "Did you know that the Cleveland Indians, Cleveland Cavaliers, and the Cleveland Browns are all within a 45 minute drive of the Akron Canton Airport?" This makes it seem that the point of the campaign is to let people know how far away they are from enjoying Cleveland. Perhaps we should just call it Mapquest+ (just don't let the Cleveland+ Mafia know I said that because I might just be a little afraid).

My Mom Always Hoped I Would Fall For A Good Catholic Boy

I will be the first to admit I was relieved when the Browns took Joe Thomas with the third pick in last week's draft instead of Brady Quinn. I didn't want Brady Quinn, but at that time I didn't know that I just didn't want him with the third pick in the draft. After watching Quinn get passed up by team after team after team, I began to feel for him, and then something even weirder happened: I wanted him to play for the Browns. As the seconds ticked down on the Dallas pick, I kept hoping Phil Savage would make the trade to get Quinn. When he finally completed the trade, I literally pumped my fist in the air. I couldn't believe it! I pumped my fist in the air for a quarterback from Notre Dame. What was going on here? I couldn't help it. He won my heart over as he sat there for four hours, so patient and calm as millions and millions of guaranteed dollars went through his grasp. I think during this time I even developed a little crush on the guy. Yesterday at work I had the following Instant Messenger conversation with my sports-talking co-worker (The names remain the same as there are no innocent people here to protect):

[17:44] Michele: i think i want a brady quinn jersey. do you think its too early?
[17:44] Bill: follow your heart...
[17:45] Michele: i might have a man crush on him
[17:45] Bill: really?
[17:45] Bill: You're already a Brady Bunch convert?
[17:45] Michele: i might be
[17:45] Michele: can't tell yet, but i like looking at his picture
[17:46] Bill: wow!
[17:46] Bill: I don't know what to say.
[17:46] Bill: have you blogged about these feelings, yet?

So now under my list of things to do, I can put a check next to: Blogging about my "unnatural" feelings for Brady Quinn.

My Dad Would Be Proud

Even with a tornado watch, I was still resilient. I debated grilling out tonight, but I still decided to move forward. I am glad I did.

It Was Bound To Happen

From the Cleveland State University Home Page:

Important Safety Message from President Michael Schwartz

I wish to share with you our response to a disturbing event. Some hand-written graffiti was found in a restroom stall in Main Classroom yesterday afternoon which threatens a repeat of the Virginia Tech event for May 12 – our commencement day.

I view this with grave concern and am taking every precaution to insure that our campus and commencement exercises are safe and secure and that commencement is the joyous occasion that all of us expect. To that end, the University Police have been in touch with the City of Cleveland’s Police Department and I have asked Governor Strickland for assistance from the Ohio Highway Patrol. The Governor has assured me of that help and I already have spoken to the Director of Public Safety and officials at the Highway Patrol. In addition, I have ordered that there be metal detectors at all entrances to the Wolstein Center on commencement day. You can be of special help to the University by keeping us informed of any suspicious activity and suspect behavior that you note or that may be related to this issue. You can call the University Police at 687.2020. We are determined to make our campus as safe and secure as it can be.

I appreciate your concern and, needless to say, I share it. As events warrant, I will keep you informed.

Not to make light of the situation, but after seeing this, my co-worker said: "Can you imagine if they acted like this with everything written on a bathroom stall?"

Generation Why?

(Please, please forgive me for doing this, but I am about to bring up that stupid Don Imus issue with the Rutgers Women's Basketball team...)
As I was standing in line at my local grocery store this weekend, I glanced up at the Newsweek with Don Imus and the Rutgers basketball team on the cover. The headline called this particular women's basketball team the next generation. I still can't figure out why they were termed the next generation of anything. Of all the people that were affected during this ordeal, I honestly think the women on this team were affected the least, or at least they were mature enough to act that way. With this in mind they aren't the next generation of protesters and I don't think they are the next generation of women to get harassed, because I don't see where one generation would end and begin with that distinction. So then what was Newsweek calling them the next generation for? They were innocent bystanders in a stupid situation. PERHAPS they are the next generation of innocent bystanders to be harassed in a stupid situation. That could be the case because they definitely aren't pioneers in that field-history has made sure of that.

My First Sunburn Of The Year

Yesterday was such a beautiful day in Cleveland that I decided I wanted to get out of the house and play in the sunshine. My playground for the day turned out to be the Lake Erie shoreline, which I always seem to rediscover every time I see it.

We started out at Edgewater Park to take pictures, made a pit-stop at a friends house, grabbed a bite at Max's deli in Rocky River and then headed to Columbia Park in Bay Village, all the while taking in all the magnificent houses along Lake Avenue from Rocky River to Bay Village.

We got some great pictures from Edgewater with the skyline in the background and of the waterfall at Columbia Park, which I kept saying existed but I just couldn't remember where.

This would explain why we went all the way to Bay Village because I was not about to stop until we found it. I was just like an exloper yesterday, though I probably should have put on more sunscreen. I wonder what SPF Christopher Columbus used to wear.

"I Think I Got A Speeding Ticket Last Night"

This is exactly what I said to my friends last Tuesday and everyone I told said: "You think?? Didn't the officer give you a ticket?" No my friends I wasn't stopped by a police officer last Monday night, but my premonition was proven true today as I opened my mail addressed from Operation Safe Streets. I thought I got the ticket because as I drove past the nice cameras on 106th and Clifton Boulevard, my car got her picture taken with three quick flashes and my stomach sank knowing full well what had just happened. In case I wanted copies of the pictures they were sent to me today with a nice letter telling me I owed the city of Cleveland $100. As I stood there wondering how I could fight it, knowing full well of my guilt, I just kept staring at the pictures they had of me coming, passing and finally from the back of my car going 15 miles over the speed limit. I just said to myself: "guilty as charged." There is a positive spin however because you don't get any points on your license when you don't get pulled over by a cop. So I guess the moral of the story is: if you are going to speed, avoid the cops and aim for the cameras. You might as well get some nice shots of your new car in the process.

Apparently I Blog Too Much

I walked down to The Old Angle tonight to get some wings, but the bar was full, so I just kept walking. I think I have been talking The Old Angle up too much and now people are starting to infiltrate my favorite bar. Perhaps I should say this: I hate The Old Angle and Major Hooples and The Winking Lizard (only the downtown and Lakewood spots), and The Parkview and Twist and Touch Supper Club and McNamaras and Lincoln Park Pub and Lava Lounge and Prosperity and Bounce. If you are considering going to any of these spots, you probably shouldn't (unless you are with me).

TGIF-Free Jukebox Style

I should have gotten a picture! I don't know why I didn't get a picture of the view from Major Hooples during the snowstorm Friday night. The view itself is gorgeous (see picture).However the snow made it even more spectacular. It would have been the perfect way to reveal what a great evening it was to live in Cleveland. Friday night started out in a local dive bar with what turned out to be a private game of darts, as my opponent and I were the only inhabitants in the place. Lucky for us that meant we also ruled over the free jukebox and the attention of the bartender. From there we got a fake distress call to go to Major Hooples, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite places . (Apparently my friends don't think I will show up quick enough unless they send fake messages of help.)

From our private game of darts on one side of Cleveland, we headed to Major Hooples located on the west bank of Cleveland to catch up with some old friends. While there we played bar bowling and got free drinks from the owner who also let us play free music on the jukebox. At this point in the evening we also got a message that the Detroit Cobras were playing at the Beachland Ballroom. As much as I would have loved to have seen the Detroit Cobras play, there was something about Major Hooples that made it hard to leave. It may have been my singing and dancing friends, or the free drinks, or the opening day crowd that had stumbled over from Jacobs Field, or the free music we got to put into the jukebox, but I think the main reason was the view of the snow falling on my favorite city. For those of you that were curious, the free drinks were a close second. Kidding...the free drinks were tied with my friends.

A Potpourri Of Clubbing Clothes, Peacepipes, Lunch Diets And Binge Drinking

I had so many things I wanted to write about today. Let me just touch upon a few of the highlights before I move on to the truly blog-worthy idea I found online.

First off, I had an interesting weekend working events for the women's basketball tournament. On Saturday, I found myself blocking the view of Geno Auriemma at the high school All-Star game as I was sitting in press row, and he of course was sitting wherever the hell he wanted to be sitting. I also scored tickets to the WNBA/WBCA after-party, but decided I may stick out too much to go. The person who gave me the tickets told me to try and blend in by wearing the clothes I would wear to go clubbing. I skipped that event. My clubbing clothes were at the cleaners.

Another blog idea was that I should mention I have started the Subway Challenge. Goodbye mayonnaise and cheese and hello honey mustard. I have decided to follow in Jared's footsteps and see if this six grams of fat marketing campaign actually works for lunch. That's right, I am only going to do it for lunch. It will take off the guilt from the wings and beer I will be consuming at dinner.

My original blog idea got bumped, so I thought I would just shorten it by giving a quick summary. Did anybody see that the Cleveland Indians played the St. Louis Cardinals in the Inaugural Civil Rights Game commemorating the civil rights movement in baseball? To stay true to the game, the Cleveland Indians removed Chief Wahoo off of their uniforms...for JUST this exhibition game. Doesn't it seem like more of a slap in the face to do that for just this game, and then put it back on for the regular season--ya know...the games that actually count. I think someone in marketing was smoking the peacepipe on this idea.

And finally the idea that trumps all others occurred just a little while ago as I was surfing the internet trying to find out the fat and calories in alcohol, to keep an accurate measurement of my Subway Challenge. I found someone else was doing a similar search, and had posted their questions for all the world to answer. I love this open letter almost as much as I want to find the person who wrote it so that I can hang out with them sometime. Enjoy...

"My favourite tipple is a double vodka with diet coke (the coke filled to the top) in a average glass served by pubs in the UK.
1. Can anyone tell me the average kcal calories content of a glass? 2. If I drank an average of 8-10 glasses of these on a weekend nightout, how many calories would I be consuming? 3. Would adding ice help reduce calorie content or increase sobriety? Or no different? 4. What is the lowest calories double spirits and mixer? (But withequal strength of alcohol)? 5. Does an increase in alcohol strength mean an increase in calories? 6. Is eating food (e.g. kebab, chips) after a drinking binge harmfulor not? e.g. helps reduce hangovers, or increases nausea in morningetc. What is recommended? Should I drink water before eating food, orafter eating food? Or both or does it make no different? Tips will be given for thorough answers."

I think I may have found my British counterpart!

This Is Better Than The Republican National Convention Anyday

Remember when Cleveland had a chance to host the Republican National Convention and there was publicity everywhere because of all the money it would bring to the city? How is it that the NCAA Women's Final Four is going to be in Cleveland this weekend and you aren't really hearing that much about it? This event is even bigger to me, but on a different level, and not just because it doesn't involve a lot of republicans running around my city. On top of the lack of Republicans, it will bring a lot of big names to this city for speaking events, games and coaching conventions, it will increase awareness of Title IX, as that legislation will celebrate its 35-year anniversary with a three-day convention in Cleveland, it will also empower young women in Cleveland with events held everyday to increase knowledge of the sport and of women in sports, and most importantly major sports publications are writing articles such as this one to shed positive light on our fine city. If you love sports and you call Cleveland home, hopefully you will realize what a wonderful opportunity this is for our fine city. I am lucky to fall into both of those categories, and I am also lucky becaue I got a volunteer gig at the event for the weekend, so I may be a little biased.

Everything I Need To Know In Life, I Learned From The Cleveland International Film Festival

Just a quick synopsis of what I learned over the past week at the Cleveland International Film Festival:
1. Director Jamie Babbit raids the cd collections of my friends
2. Sigourney Weaver makes movies better
3. When a movie is about beastiality, skipping it due to extreme exhaustion can be justified easier.
4. Norwegian movies make very little sense to me
5. British horror films are more funny (in a good way) than scary
6. Romanians make incest seem somewhat normal
7. My alma mater, Ohio University looks good on the big screen even if it is surrouned by unnecessary irony.

And All This Time I Thought It Was The Beer Making Me Fat

From www.msnbc.com and The Associated Press:

WASHINGTON - The typical Chinese restaurant menu is a sea of nutritional no-nos, a consumer group has found. A plate of General Tso’s chicken, for example, is loaded with about 40 percent more sodium and more than half the calories an average adult needs for an entire day. The battered, fried chicken dish with vegetables has 1,300 calories, 3,200 milligrams of sodium and 11 grams of saturated fat. That’s before the rice (200 calories a cup). And after the egg rolls (200 calories and 400 milligrams of sodium).

So much for my diet of wings and Chinese food. I Guess I will just have to stick to the wings-at least those are good for you, right?

“I don’t want to put all the blame on Chinese food,” said Bonnie Liebman, nutrition director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, which did a report released Tuesday.
“Across the board, American restaurants need to cut back on calories and salt, and in the meantime, people should think of each meal as not one, but two, and bring home half for tomorrow,” Liebman said.

The average adult needs around 2,000 calories a day and 2,300 milligrams of salt, which is about one teaspoon of salt, according to government guidelines.

In some ways, Liebman said, Italian and Mexican restaurants are worse for your health, because their food is higher in saturated fat, which can increase the risk of heart disease.
While Chinese restaurant food is bad for your waistline and blood pressure — sodium contributes to hypertension — it does offer vegetable-rich dishes and the kind of fat that’s not bad for the heart.

So the trick is to order vegetables with your fried meats...that explains a lot.

However — and this is a big however — the veggies aren’t off the hook. A plate of stir-fried greens has 900 calories and 2,200 milligrams of sodium. And eggplant in garlic sauce has 1,000 calories and 2,000 milligrams of sodium. “We were shocked. We assumed the vegetables were all low in calories,” Liebman said.

Just like I assumed everything they served was low in calories. Now who is the dummy? Stupid researchers!

Also surprising were some appetizers: An order of six steamed pork dumplings has 500 calories, and there’s not much difference, about 10 calories per dumpling, if they’re pan-fried.
The group found that not much has changed since it examined Chinese food 15 years ago. That’s not all bad, Liebman said. “We were glad not to find anything different,” she said. “Some restaurant food has gotten a lot worse. Companies seem to pile on. Instead of just cheesecake, you get coconut chocolate chip cheesecake with a layer of chocolate cake, and lasagna with meatballs.”

What she is trying to say is stay away from the General Tso's Coconut Chocolate Chip Cheesecake.

The group says there is no safe harbor from sodium on the Chinese restaurant menu, but it offers several tips for making a meal healthier:
Look for dishes that feature vegetables instead of meat or noodles. Ask for extra broccoli, snow peas or other veggies.
Steer clear of deep-fried meat, seafood or tofu. Order it stir-fried or braised.
Hold the sauce, and eat with a fork or chopsticks to leave more sauce behind.
Avoid salt, which means steering clear of the duck sauce, hot mustard, hoisin sauce and soy sauce.
Share your meal or take half home for later.
Ask for brown rice instead of white rice.

What would even be the point of ordering Chinese if you have to follow these tips?

St. Patricks Day 2007...

...Or as I like to call it: Amateur Drinking Day at my favorite bar. This year we started out at The Old Angle, and as we found out later, we should have just stayed there. While at The Old Angle we got to watch the Ohio State game, even though they had to keep switching televisions for us, as the bar started to fill up, and we could no longer see above everyone. However the highlight of our stay there was a conversation I was privy to down in the bathroom:
Girl 1: I am so drunk on beer!
Girl 2: Oh My God, I am so drunk on beer too! This is so crazy.
Girl 3 (who stumbled in a couple minutes later): Oh My God, I am so drunk on beer! This is so crazy!
Girl 2: I can't believe how drunk I am on beer!
Girl 1: Me neither. I am so glad I ate first.
Girl 3 (from inside one of the stalls): How did you know to eat first???
Girl 1: I don't know. I guess I thought ahead.
Girl 2 and 3: Oh My God! You are so smart.

That is a conversation I never thought I would hear inside the confines of my bar. Other than that, let me recap the good and bad ideas of the day:
Starting at The Old Angle: Good Idea
Going to McCarthy's in The Flats: Bad Idea
However while we were in line for the bathroom at this bar, this stupid frat boy in a cableknit sweater yelled at the women's bathroom line to make out or tickle each other. At this point, my friend Allison said: "Does that guy know he is wearing a cableknit sweater, and that men in cableknit sweaters should never yell those things out loud because we will know he is gay?"
Going to The Harbor Inn in The Flats: Bad Idea
Going to West 6th Street on the advice that it wouldn't be so annoying because it was St. Patrick's Day: Bad Idea
Going to Cinergy on West 6ht Street: Bad Idea
Going to Panini's on West 6th Street: Bad Idea
Going to The Old Stand in Lakewood: Bad Idea
Calling someone to come pick me up in Lakewood so I could head home: Good Idea
Going to Bed at 8:00 p.m.: Good Idea
Waking up early to go to the film festival: Good Idea

All in all, it was a great four days off filled with a lot of basketball and a lot of fun. Thanks to everyone I spent it with, but next year I am staying put at The Old Angle for the duration of St. Patrick's Day.

Strong Enough For A Man But Made For A Locked Up Glass Case At My Local Ghetto Store

On the way to get wings last Thursday in Tremont I had to stop for cigarettes. While in the little ghetto store across the street from Lincoln Park Pub, I realized I also needed deoderant. As I walked up and down every eclectic aisle in this little store, I could not find any deoderant. When I walked up to the counter to inquire where it might be, the gentleman behind the counter pointed to a locked glass case underneath him. Inside that locked glass case I saw toothpaste, deoderant and body soap. I had to point at the one I wanted like I was at a deli. He then had to unlock the case to get my deoderant, and as he did this I wondered if I was getting some secret magic deoderant. Alas, it was regular Secret deoderant worth only $2.49. I laughed thinking how I passed much more expensive things while looking for the deoderant, but apparently there must be high crime on items used for hygiene. The only thing I could think of is there has to be some special ingredient in my deoderant used for drugs. If anyone knows a drug recipe using my Secret Spring Breeze deoderant, could you please pass it along?

Pro (Social) Life

As I was driving home down West 25th street past Metro Health Hospital, I may have seen one of the strangest events of my life. I saw the first man with a "Stop Abortion" sign and got the creeps, but kept driving. About fifty yards ahead at the stoplight there was another group of about ten protesters, and I was stuck at a red light looking at their gross signs. Keep in mind this had to have been the homeliest group of people I have ever seen. I always find it to be so ironic how ugly pro-life protesters look, but I guess in a way it makes sense. Nonetheless, I see the protesters walking out into the street where I thought the car behind me may have been yelling slurs at them like I wish I would have done. But NO, this is not the case at all. The protesters start hugging and high-fiving the people in the car behind me in a show of comraderie. I was stunned. I couldn't even move when the light turned green. I just sat there wondering if somehow I got stuck in the middle of some pro-life parade, but with much less candy and really ugly people.

Two Weeks Is Too Long

The past two weeks have flown by full of events and failed thoughts of blogging. To catch everyone up I got a new car, though it will never take the place of Ruby. I have to give a lot of thanks to my parents for their incredible bargaining ways as I am now driving a 2007 Hyundai Sonata. I also had to go to North Carolina for family business this past week. If only I had enough words and space to blog about the family events and craziness. Unfortunately you will have to wait to read Julie's book entitled: Does Crazy Sleep? which is sure to be made into a major motion picture or at least a Lifetime movie of the week sometime soon. I hear Meredith Baxter Birney is already auditioning for the part of crazy.

As for the next two weeks-I can't be more excited! This is my favorite time of year because of the NCAA basketball tournament (Selection Sunday is only two days away or 56 hours from now) and the Cleveland International Film Festival , which will also be going on over the next two weeks. This year I am actually lucky enough to have someone in my life to pull me away from basketball to see some movies and get me out of the house, or bar as the case may be. Do not fear, I have already taken March 15th and 16th off of work for the first two days of the tournament like I do every year. I am just glad those games don't fall on St. Patricks Day like they did the past two years. My boss always thought I was taking the days off to drink beer and go to the parade. When any normal person would know I was taking the days off to drink beer and watch basketball. I am obviously working with amateurs here.

RIP Ruby

I got news yesterday that Ruby's motor had gone out on her. It doesn't make sense to put $1,300 into my car due to the fact that she is ten years old, so I decided to let her move on to car heaven. She is not a person or even an animal, so my sadness seems unjustified, but she was my first car and I had her for eight wonderful years. Eight years that included her driving me downtown to Cleveland for work, living in Florida, driving back and forth to Kent on many many many occassions, getting towed away a few times for several mishaps and taking me anywhere I wanted to go, whenever I wanted to go. I am sure I will love my next car, but it just won't be the same without her.

Taco Twosday

Last night I met Liz for tacos at Lincolon Park Pub. When I walked in, I saw she was sitting at a table with two friends of ours that we don't usually hang out with on a regular basis. This translates to: two people who don't drink a lot. After I got my drink, I joined Liz outside for a cigarette. While we were outside, she proceeds to tell me she got a double of Stoli and tonic. This didn't surprise me because she normally does this when we get tacos. However her reasoning this night was that she didn't want it to look like she drinks a lot. She thought if she got a double she wouldn't have to get up as quickly to get another drink in front of these people who might think she has a problem. I found her rationale funny and we proceeded back in where our friends had gotten the bill and had a confused look on their face. They looked up and said: "why do we have two shots of Stoli on our bill?" They couldn't figure it out and I busted out laughing. Apparently the waitress put Liz's drink on their bill. The one girl looked at her margarita and wondered out loud if they put Stoli in there (this was a good indication of how little they drink), and I began to laugh even more. Liz came clean about her double and they looked astonished. As a matter of fact, they said: "who drinks a double on a weekday?" I decided to take the onus off of Liz and tell them I did a shot at the bar while getting my beer. They looked at us like we were from outer space, and left soon after. We stayed and got more drinks. It was Fat Tuesday afterall.

CARma

I had to take my car, Ruby, to the mechanic yesterday. Now that she has turned ten, she seems to be having more and more problems. While my car is being looked at, my father is letting me borrow his car that seems to also have some problems, which can best be described from our phone conversation yesterday:

Dad: Ok the keys will be in the car
Me: Great. Thanks! Anything I should know?
Dad: Well don't worry about all the weird alarms as you drive.
Me: Ok
Dad: There is actually nothing wrong with the airbags or brakes, so don't worry when the car tries to tell you there is something wrong with those.
Me: Ok
Dad: Oh and also, there is no cruise control.
Me: Ok
Dad: Also if you want to move the mirrors, you have to do it manually.
Me (At this point laughing): Dad, after we get my car back, you may want to take yours in to get looked at as well.

I Feel Like A Little Kid

We got word today that school has been cancelled due to the snow, therefore I have the day off. Yeah for snow days. Hmmm...maybe I will have lunch with Liz again tomorrow.

Lunch With Liz

I took the day off today and went out to lunch with Liz to a little hole in the wall. I had the veal-Roz will appreciate that-and she had a BLT. Just a normal lunch, nothing too crazy to mention...

For Scorned Women Only

I found this advertisement online and I laughed out loud. There is a group of scorned women out there who have had enough of felons and married men!

Happy Birthday Blog

Two years ago, the day after the Super Bowl, I started this blog when I did THIS ENTRY. Today I feel the same way, I felt on that day: So Now What? Now I have to wait five weeks until Selection Sunday when the NCAA tournament starts, and I have no idea what I am going to do without football. Last night when Peyton Manning held up that championship trophy, I shed a tear. Sure I was glad he finally won the big game, but my sadness was more for the end of the football season and losing my only justifiable reason to drink beer on Sunday afternoons. I do have to say the season went out with a bang thanks to my sister, Julie and Rozzy. I may want to stay away from Sunday drinking for a little while anyway after this weekend.

There Is A God And He Eats Wings

I am happy to announce there is now officially a wing night in Ohio City. The gods have smiled down upon my brother and I, and now the Old Angle will be serving their wings for only 25 cents apiece on Monday nights, along with $2 domestic beers. These are the same wings that cost almost a dollar apiece any other night of the week there, so it really is a deal. Last night as we left with a bill of only $24, we started laughing because that is usually the tip we have to leave when we normally go there.

Why We REALLY Got The Internet

I walked into the annex today and saw my computer was on a page with a history of NBA basketball MVPS. If you were to flash back three hours earlier at The Old Angle, my brother and I got into a small argument about how many MVP awards Larry Bird won in a row. I swore he didn't win three in a row and my brother swore otherwise. He did win three in a row. This is why the page was still up for me to see as I walked in the door, and this is the real reason we got internet access at the annex. Is there anything more satisfying than settling sports debates? I think not.

Get A Life*

Even after I had the audacity to say I would blog more with Wi-Fi, I still have been lazy. In my lame defense, it has been cold out, and we don't get our actual internet connection until Thursday. I made the appointment to get cable installed, and they gave me an all-day window from 8-5 to be ready for them. Perhaps they thought because I now will have both internet and cable connections, that I must also not have a life. Surely they are assuming I will put my life on hold for them. This could be true, because the first time I got cable at my place, I just missed the guy and chased him down the road like a crazy person until he stopped. I have an interesting relationship with my cable company, and I am sure there is a little asterisk next to my name whenever I call.

Watch Out World I Have Wi-Fi

I am sitting at the Old Angle watching playoff football using my wireless internet for the first time. Could things be better? Our parents got us an incredible laptop for the holidays and I plan on putting it to use. Luckily for me, The Old Angle makes it easier to do that. Hopefully this will help me update my blog more often. Who knew I could increase my productivity at the Angle?

Even In Loss, We Still Have Fun

This picture was taken right before kickoff, which is why we are both still smiling. Can you tell we are related? Our mother has been dressing us alike for years.

I'm Still Alive: The Holiday Version

It has been way too long since my last post, but there has been so much going on in such a short time. The holidays are so distracting, or perhaps I am just easily distracted. If you know me personally you can answer that last one on your own.

As always, Christmas was incredible thanks to my parents. The time and effort they put into that one day never ceases to amaze me. (The amount of champagne we drink on that morning also never really ceases to amaze me as well.) What I noticed this year is the amount of trash talking that goes on around the holiday season. While it is the season to be giving and jolly we tend to cut one another down in the process so that our new gifts seem better. For example, my brother got my mom a new throw blanket for her couch. The night before Christmas he went off about how her old throw blanket isn't big enough anymore and then he went on to point out it doesn't look that warm. All of this to make the new blanket seem that much better. Another example was the day before Christmas my father, my brother and I got into a little debate regarding football history. At the end of the debate, my father, in a tone I have never heard from him before said: "What? You think you know NFL trivia or something?" I couldn't believe the trash talk until the next day when I opened my new game of NFL trivia. Next year keep an ear out for the Christmas trash talk. I promise you, it's there.

As for New Years...you may want to sit down for this one. I just wasn't in the mood to deal with all the crazy people, so I stayed in and watched Seinfeld until 1 am. It was a great night. I could hear all the people yellling outside, but I didn't have to see them. I did go to The Old Angle at 1 am to meet some people, but I was glad to be back home soon after that. People make such a big deal out of New Years, but as I watched the ball drop that night during a commercial break, I thought to myself: What the hell is the big deal? Chances are I am going to have more fun going out any other night of the year, though I guess unlike most people, I do go out almost every other night of the year. Have a Happy New Year!

Making Spirits Bright

I went Christmas shopping last night and I hated it just as much as I remember. Everything about it irritates me: the crowds, the lines, all the annoying Christmas music and the vapid look on my face as I try to figure out what to buy. At one point I may have even started crying. It was rough, especially for someone who abhores shopping in the first place. So how do I make it better? Good beer. Usually I drink domestic beer at home, but last night I stopped and bought a six-pack of Warsteiner beer to make it all better, and the next time I go shopping, I will probably do the same. I think this may be why Christmastime is so expensive.

Wedding Party Professional

Last week it became official: My sister asked me to serve as her "best man" for her ceremony in June when she marries her girlfriend of nine years. This is such an honor, and I am so proud to have been chosen. On top of that, I don't know of anyone else who has gotten to serve as both a maid of honor and best man in the span of eighteen months. If you want to go back ever further, I was a flower girl twenty-five years ago for my aunt's wedding. If you, or anyone you know have gaps in your wedding party, I can obviously fill almost any of them.

This Whole Non-Smoking Thing Is Killing Me...

...or at least it was. Apparently word has not reached many fine establishments that there is a smoking ban in order. Last week I suffered through the ban in the bitter cold, which is best exemplified with a quote from a friend: "I felt worse after smoking four cigarettes outside than had I smoked a whole pack inside." It was rough going until last night when I frequented more than one bar, including one which uses cups as ashtrays, where I was able to smoke inside. So if you want to find me, you will have to go a little farther west (See: Lakewood). I am like the Carmen San Diego of Smoking in Cleveland.

In other news, the fantasy football gods slapped us a hard dose of irony last night. Last year we won our championship when Thomas Jones came through with a big game against Green Bay and gave us enough points to win our game. This year we were knocked out of the playoffs because Thomas Jones had another big game. This season however he played for our opponent and was not on our team. Alas the season is over.

(Insert moment of silence for fantasy football season here)

Black (Lung) Thursday

Bright Side Of The Smoking Ban

There really is a bright side to the smoking ban. My co-worker just opened my eyes to one of the few perks. The first major perk, which I already knew about, will be the amount of money I am going to save by not going out as much. I know that seems crazy, but it's true. I am going to go out a lot less, because, well I don't like to drink and not smoke. Also it gets cold in Ohio and I don't see myself standing outside of bars all winter. This brings me to the point my co-worker brought up. As many of you know, I am not prone to turning up my heat. I have been keeping my apartment at a balmy 52 degrees, and I am ok with this, but it does get a little chilly at night (see picture). My smart co-worker told me to think about how much warmer your apartment is going to be at the same temperature if you are standing outside smoking at night. This is true. I may even be able to lose the stocking hat.

Holiday Greetings From The Annex

Posted on msnbc.com this week:
“Are you really spreading holiday cheer with the annual letters?”

Then it got me thinking…

Holiday (censored) Letter From The Annex

Holiday Greetings from the Annex! It has been quite a year for us! In January we will be celebrating one year of existence, so I guess you could say it has been our best year yet.

Mark moved in at the beginning of January and things have been entertaining ever since. From xxxxxxxxxxxx to xxxxxxxxxxx, things have been a little wild at times, but we have all grown from our experiences. There were the times this year when xxxxxxxx happened, but thankfully everyone is still in one piece. It wouldn’t be a holiday letter if I didn’t mention xxxxxxxxxxx, so for those of you that remember that evening, thanks for the memories. Nonetheless, we have had a great time and we have grown a lot in the past year. We just wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday season.

Happy Holidays,
The Annex

Smoking Tour '06...Where Were You?

What a week...what a weekend! This past week was fabulous, minus the fact that my fantasty football team took a turn for the worse, but you can't win 'em all.

Apparently I am on my very own Smoking Tour '06. With only four days left, I have tried to stop and have a cigarette in as many establishments in Cleveland as possible. Actually this wasn't done on purpose, but by Saturday I realized that I have made stops over the past couple days at: The Winking Lizard, The Old Angle, Bounce, McNamara's, Touch Supper Club and Melted and I still have four more days. Four more days. Ugh. Ok, enough about the smoking ban.

This weekend I got to go see the live version of Rocky Horror Picture Show at Cleveland Public Theatre compliments of Mindy. I am not the biggest fan of the movie, but the play was done really well as everyone in the show actually stole the show. Afterwards there were drinks and yummy food from Halite with the cast. Saturday was an adventure as I went to my favorite annual party in Cleveland. This year was crazier than ever with what seemed like hundreds of people showing up to get down. The host goes all out by hiring a DJ and poker dealers while inviting a very funny diverse crowd. I always feel like I am in a movie when I attend because of all the interersting characters I encounter. Sunday was peaceful. The annex cooked steak and eggs due to the fact that The Old Angle wasn't open yet and then I fell asleep after the Browns scored their first touchdown and woke up in time to catch them win in overtime. It was perfect. I should do that more often.

Catch me if you can at your favorite smoking establishment this week.

Let The Smoking Memories Begin

As I walked into The Winking Lizard last night, I saw the saddest sign posted all over my favorite smoking establishment. Effective December 8, The Lizard will be smoke-free. While I know almost every bar/restaurant in Ohio is going in this direction, this one hurts the most. There was always something so special about the smoking section there. This is where you could watch 20 differenct large screen televisions, sit at the bar and ask about all the different draft beers, play pool, arcade bowl or play darts. In the non-smoking room, if you didn't get the right seat, you would have to squint to catch the game on the small mounted televsions in each corner. It was always so quiet in that weird little non-smoking room--like you were in a library or at someone's wake. The Winking Lizard made it cool to be a smoker and they made it a lot more fun as well. It was almost as if they were telling their customers: "Sure you can sit in non-smoking but you aren't going to have any fun."

As Liz and I sat there last night, we talked about how this was our favorite place to go and have a beer and cigarette. We even had a funny memory to illustrate the significance. When she and I came back from Massachusetts last year, after a vacation in a non-smoking state, the first thing we did after we got back from the airport was head to the Lizard for a beer and a smoke. While most people are exhausted from traveling or would rather go to their neighborhood bar, we missed smoking inside and we missed smoking inside at the Lizard. I can only imagine how I am going to feel after December 8. RIP best smoking section in Cleveland.

*The writer of this blog does not condone smoking

The Gasman Always Rings Once

As I was getting ready for work this morning, my doorbell rang. This almost never happens . In order to get to the door, I have to find my keys because I can't open my door without them, and then I have to run down the backsteps to the door. By the time I got down there, the person who rang the bell was gone. After I finished getting ready for work and walked out the door, there was that damn note from the gas company which said they missed me. I always miss this person and I think it is done on purpose. The gasman is my nemesis (think Jerry Seinfeld and Newman). After they rang the doorbell, they must have ran away because they didn't even wait one minute for me to come down the stairs. This is most concerning to me because I haven't turned my heat on, so I don't want them estimating based on past years. Yeah, I know. I am crazy on so many levels. Most of you know my issues with the gas company. Now I have one more.

My Hero

My brother is my hero. While he may not have rescued a kitten out of tree or saved small children from a burning building, he did do the following this weekend: Started partying in Columbus at 8 am and made it all the way through the game and then got up at 7:45 yesterday morning to drive back to Cleveland so he could start tailgating at 10:30 am and then came home and hung out with me after the game. Maybe he isn't your typical hero but he definitely deserves a shout-out for the work he did this weekend. The picture is a little fuzzy because the photographer had a lack of focus at the time.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

I have done some maintenance on the old blog and added some fun new features. If you scroll down on the right side of the page you will see a new category called "labels". I have categorized all of my entries so that you can look through particular categories. This is really more for my benefit, but I thought I would let you know.

On to the weekend...
Tomorrow is the Ohio State-Michigan game. It is the one day of the year when everyone in Ohio thinks they graduated from Ohio State and it cracks me up. My brother is going to Columbus for the game and I think he is crazy for doing that. You could not pay me enough to be south of Mansfield this weekend. On top of that I am looking forward to a fun weekend with family and friends and parties with both.

I Graduated!

I finally cashed in on my last birthday present and it was worth the wait! Last night I went to beer school at the Great Lakes Brewing Company. It was the coolest thing I think I have done in a long time and I recommend it to anyone in the Cleveland area. For the price of $15, you get to go on a tour of the brewing company, learn the history of the building and surrounding buildings, learn how beer is made, learn how they name their beers, taste their five main beers and then they give you a souveneir glass and an awesome t-shirt that lets everyone know you graduated from beer school. It might be one of my proudest moments and I am sure my parents are equally as proud.

One thing to keep in mind if you do the tour is that you should eat first. I was given this advice by someone who did it before me, so plans were made to go to the Flying Fig. Ironically, and this has never happened at the Fig before, it took our food too long to come out and we weren't able to eat. I am a beer drinker, so I didn't think it would be that big of a deal except for the fact that the beer tasting was more like a drinking contest. While they talk about their five main beers you are drinking each one in a plastic cup (imagine every keg party you have attended but with expensive, good beer). It only takes them about 20 minutes to talk about all the beers, so you have slammed five cups of strong beer in that short time. Hmmm...I wonder if that was why I liked it so much.

Reality Schmality

What a great weekend! The CAVS came back from 20 points down, the Browns beat a playoff contender, we had the second lowest points and we still won our fantasy football game and I won my first week of fantasy basketball. Yes, I came to the realization that fantasy football will not last forever and I will need something to take me through the summer. Therefore, I have decided to join a fantasy basketball league with co-workers (reason #213 why I love my job). Pretty soon everything in my life will just be one big fantasy and I will wake up in my fantasy apartment and go to my fantasy job and then go to fantasy Old Angle for fantasy drinks. Reality is overrated anyway.

Election Events

Here are my quick (and erratic) thoughts from the past couple of days:

The absentee scanning was interesting but relatively uneventful, though the accuracy worries me a little...actually it worries me a lot. I think we are still not quite where we should be in electronic voting. How is it possible we now have cars that parallel park themselves, yet we can't get electronic voting down? Did the computer engineering flunkies all get stuck with election duty?

I was thrilled Tuesday night with all the results and overall it was a great evening. I was, however, saddened Wednesday morning with election news from a close friend, so it was rather bittersweet. It was definitely stupid to not take the day after the election off, as I was up past 3 am trying to catch all the results. As far as the issues go…I wonder how much the passage of issue five (no smoking) is going to hurt issue 18 where cigarette taxes will go to the arts. Also, and I hope everyone saw this on the ballot for issue three, where they broke down the math for the gambling and it went like this: 55% back to the casinos and 35% back to education. Where does the other 10% go? This math made it a little fishy to me.

Overall I am excited about the blue political coup in this state and I hope it can last until the next big election in ’08. Barack Obama, anyone?

A Week Late, But Still Funny

Last week I found a great story about my alma mater on-line from Sports Illustrated. If you know anything about Ohio University, you know it hardly gets written about in major sports publications. However at my former school, Halloween was the biggest sport on campus. While most people think I went to Ohio University for this reason, it was really the former reason. As most students who graduated from Ohio University could tell you, we don't remember very many sporting events, but we could probably tell you about a very memorable Halloween we had there or the first time we got arrested which is usually one in the same.

I Just Voted And You Should Too!

In case you aren't aware of the voting procedures this fall, you have up until Saturday to go to your local board of elections to cast an early ballot. I just did it at lunch and it only took me ten minutes. What a relief it was to get that over with and not have to wait in line on election day.

The League of Women Voters actually has a great website with insight on all the candidates and issues. I found it to be a lot more functional than other sights I went to. My biggest fear about voting early was that I wouldn't get a sticker, but I was so damn excited to be casting my ballot, they actually gave me two.

Busy Busy Election Elf

I won't have much time to blog over the next week as I will be housesitting starting tomorrow. I have decided to take most of those days off of work because I hate commuting from the suburbs--it is pure torture! Even with the time off work, I will still be working as a dogsitter, catsitter, housesitter, fishsitter and next Monday night I am going to be a self-proclaimed "election elf."

Starting at 11:30 pm next Monday night until noon on election day I will be at the county board of elections scanning absentee ballots. That's right, I am going to be a part of the process! I had training last night and it is interesting to be behind the scenes to see how a bi-partisan America actually works. In this sense, a Democrat (that's me by the way) is teamed up with a Republican to scan ballots together. I will be sitting across from somebody I have completely conflicting views with for 12 hours trying to make small talk. Essentially it is the opposite of speed dating.

My Favorite Television Clip Of All Time

When I found this clip, I was ecstatic. My sister got me hooked on Laverne and Shirley when we used to own this clip on video cassette. I took it to college where I lost it, assuming it was never to be found again. Now I can own it forever thanks to YouTube.

Halloween Blog

It's odd that the more pressure you put on a holiday, the more stressful it is in the end. Take for example every New Years Eve I have ever had. However when you put no pressure on a holiday, it always turns out to be so much fun. Take for example Halloween this past weekend. A last minute costume with last minute plans turned out to be fabulous.

On Friday we stayed in and watched scary movies with Tim where laughter and funny quotes were rampant. On Saturday we found costumes at the last minute (that were quite cheap as well) and then accessorized as Lou and Lucy Lucipher (see photo). We traveled around and went to a fun party near Kamm's Corners and then made our way back to the near west side for Liz's party before heading off to the Garage Bar to hang out with good friends I hadn't seen in months. Daylight Savings Time kicked in and we stayed out later than expected that night. Though that isn't saying much considering we were actually thinking about staying in. See? No pressure=more fun.

Birthday Blog

This was one of the best birthdays ever. I have included some pics from my birthday weekend, which included: a crazy memory-filled Friday night with my parents and their friends at Pickwick and Frolic followed by after-dinner drinks at the Marriott; Staying up until the wee hours of the morning with my brother and Liz after seeing Joan Jett which was an incredible show; Partying with Mindy on Sunday with incredible seats at the Indigo Girls concert followed by drinks at the Old Angle. My friends and family are so incredible and I had such a blast over the past couple days. Pictured below: me with my cake first thing Sunday morning, Mindy and I Sunday before the show, Liz and I Saturday after the show, Joan Jett rocking out and sharing a birthday drink with my parents' friend at Pickwick and Frolic.

Ten Years In The Making

Tomorrow I will celebrate ten years of legally drinking, or as some people might call it: my 31st birthday. While it is not quite as exciting as turning 21, I am still looking forward to turning a year older and spending this weekend with friends, who have been more than generous with the birthday activities. Tonight I will be celebrating with Maria, who also happens to be sending me to beer school at The Great Lakes Brewing Company; Saturday I am going to see Joan Jett courtesy of Liz and on Sunday Mindy is treating me to the Indigo Girls concert. I am sure I will be putting the experience I have gained over the past ten years to good use this weekend.

These People Really Exist

This is Scary: Click on video in middle to view


To be freaked out even more, continue down to read the previous post.

Just In Time To Gross You Out For Halloween

Do you remember when John Mark Karr admitted to killing JonBenet Ramsey last month, but you knew he really didn't and wondered why the press bought into it? I am experiencing deja vu right now. Today the priest that former representative Mark Foley said molested him came forward just one day later to admit to all the charges. The gentleman in question, Anthony Merceica, is a 72-year old retired priest living in Malta. I hate to say I don't believe him, but I really don't. I think this is an out for Foley. I think the priest was made to come forward because somehow if Foley was molested then it would make everything a little better for his current situation, and of course for the Republican party. With the election looming, it seems like this is the only thing that matters right now. Forget the boys that Foley harassed. All of that is excused once Foley goes through the protocol of going to rehab, admitting he is gay and having the priest come forward that molested him. TRIFECTA! Each one of these steps gets him off the hook a little more. Actually the gay thing still makes him look like a sick monster (to the people that matter) and the only way to nullify that is to bring in somebody even sicker. These people are good, really good. No wonder they have won the last two presidential elections by a negative margin.

**While child molestation is the most heinous crime in the world and should never be blown off, it seems like that is exactly what this situation is trying to do: take the guilt off Foley and put it on someone else. It was extremely hard to write about not believing someone's claims regarding molestation, but in this situation, it just seems too easy to let Foley off the hook if the priest came forward. Not to mention, when in the history of all these Catholic church scandals has a priest come forward so willingly? Even if you think I am a big jerk for writing this, you should at least take a second to think about why this guy would come forward so quickly.

Why We Call It The Annex

According to Wikipedia, Annex is defined as: a building that is in addition to another building. When I was in college, the word was also used to define the smaller fraternity house, which housed all the people who couldn’t fit into the main house. As you know, my brother, who has the other apartment in my house, and I also call our house “The Annex.” Part of this definition comes from the fact that it is a building that is in addition to another building-that’s Camp Lieberth-but part of it comes from the fact that it does indeed seem like a fraternity house at times. Take this weekend for example.

I walked (stumbled) in on Friday night/Saturday morning and called my brother’s name out when I walked into the door, as we usually do when one of us is walking in that late. He was still up, and even though he said he was getting ready for bed, I got him to go back out and get more beer. After all it was only 2 am. Soon I was making homemade beef chow mein (I like to cook late at night) and we played Monopoly until 4am as we talked about sports, work, girls and other unrecognizable conversation pieces all while making up some weird dance. Are you starting to see the frat house correlation yet? It was such a blast that we spent most of the day Sunday drinking beers, watching football and talking about many of the same topics as I made a big Italian feast. I think we should re-name our house: Kappa Lambda Alpha for Kamp Lieberth Annex.

The best part about this fraternity is that we go on field trips: free hot dogs tonight at the Old Angle for Monday Night Football. I certainly can’t cook every night, or people might start to think I am the house mom.

In 1492 Some Jackass Sailed The Ocean Blue, And Did Very Bad Things, But At Least I Got A Day Off

This weekend went from a two-day weekend to a four-day weekend in the blink of an eye. I took Friday off from work with a sinus infection and Monday was a complete surprise. It wasn’t until I was watching SportsCenter on Sunday night when they mentioned Columbus Day that I realized I had Monday off as well. All the important things in life I have learned from watching ESPN.

The weekend was rather subdued. I didn’t go out once and cooked almost every night. I also rented out my services to family members. On Saturday I did all of Mark’s laundry (for a small fee) and on Sunday I helped my sister paint her house (no charge). Yesterday, after I called my job to verify we did indeed have the day off, I watched a movie, prepped my house for the winter, went for a walk around Ohio City, stopped at the market to buy ribs and spent the evening drinking good beer and cooking ribs. It was a great Columbus Day. Thank God for Manifest Destiny!

OC Doesn’t Stand For Ohio City 44113

Currently Sherrod Brown, the man who will hopefully unseat Mike DeWine in the upcoming senatorial election, is traveling around to visit Ohio campuses. I was excited when I heard about his college tour, but then I saw who was in his entourage. If you happen to make it to one of his stops (The Cleveland State/CWRU stop is October 7 at 5:30 outside the SEIU building on Payne and East 23rd), you will be greeted by Brown, his wife and Plain Dealer columnist Connie Schultz, Luke Perry and Adam Brody. Perry starred in Beverly Hills 90210 and Brody is from the popular teeny-bopper show The OC. While I think it is great to have big names on your tour, these two confuse me. What is the connection between these two actors and Ohio politics? Both of their shows were set in California with a demographic of teenage girls. My advice to Brown would be to drop these two for Michael Stanly and Drew Carey. It may increase your numbers in Cleveland instead of Southern California.

Will You Marry Me=asdkfl;i adfoisut;dkfa?

You may not know much about my sister and her girlfriend from reading my blog but they are some of the coolest people I have ever met. They are also my most loyal readers, so I definitely have to send a shout out to the newly engaged couple. This weekend, after nine years together, my sister finally popped the question. It has really renewed my faith in people to see them now after everything they have been through together and I am so happy for them! On Saturday night/Sunday morning I was attempting to put the card my sister gave Julie on here, but it was a little hard to reprint after Julie's birthday party which lasted until 3 am. I did attempt to start typing that night but when I went back to look at the draft, it didn't really do justice to the card. You just have to take my word on how beautiful the engagement was because if I had copied my draft from that morning, it would have looked like this to you (Funny how you lose site of the home keys after a little beer and whiskey):

Mydasdflkd, dasfkasdfit
adlkfdasi nvko dsaioie al;die woeruth
aodfiuasdfdsghoieqr;l adsofiuta;weoriuqwperi. jdaopsi! asdfodpupoa;.

I know that is beautiful in itself but I didn't want to take away from the actual card. Congratulations to Kathy Ann and Julie!