Please stop the fighting in the Gaza Strip; Please end the war in Iraq; Please restore New Orleans to it’s once beautiful and glorious form; Please end South Dakota’s ban on abortion; Please don’t let the Federal Marriage Amendment pass; Please don’t let Ken Blackwell get elected as the next Ohio governor, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, please, please let Jordan Farmar (point guard, UCLA) be available for the CAVS tonight with the 25th pick in the 2006 NBA draft.
It’s hard to believe my girlfriend finds my politics flippant.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Want To Get Rid Of Me? Here's How:
Help send the Wild Plum troupe to New York July 13-July 16 to perfrom Marla's Devotion, written by Linda Eisenstein and starring Denise Astorino and Maria Miranda. Props and some back stage management done by yours truly. So what can you do? That’s a great question! Attend the show for our benefit this weekend and do your part to help get us there to participate in the Fresh Fruit Festival. You have four different days to attend, so I don’t want to hear any excuses!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
How To Prove You Aren't Homophobic
Chicago White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen called an ESPN columnist a fag yesterday. When other reporters went to the Major League Baseball office asking for a suspension of the manager, Guillen tried to justify his comments. He said that in his native Venezuela, that word is not a reference to a person's sexuality, but to his courage. He also said he has gay friends, attends WNBA games, went to a Madonna concert and plans to go to the Gay Games in Chicago.
I think he may have developed a prototype checksheet for homophobia with his remarkable list of accomplishments. I challenge anyone to see if they can beat out Ozzie Guillen to prove who is less homophobic.
Please check if any of these apply to you:
Do you have gay friends? Add two points if you are on a first name basis.
Have you attended a WNBA game in the past three years? Add two points if you went with a lesbian.
Have you gone to a Madonna Concert? Add two points if you think this shouldn't be on the list
Do you plan on attending the Gay Games in Chicago? Add 25 points if you plan on participating.
Good Luck!
I think he may have developed a prototype checksheet for homophobia with his remarkable list of accomplishments. I challenge anyone to see if they can beat out Ozzie Guillen to prove who is less homophobic.
Please check if any of these apply to you:
Do you have gay friends? Add two points if you are on a first name basis.
Have you attended a WNBA game in the past three years? Add two points if you went with a lesbian.
Have you gone to a Madonna Concert? Add two points if you think this shouldn't be on the list
Do you plan on attending the Gay Games in Chicago? Add 25 points if you plan on participating.
Good Luck!
Monday, June 19, 2006
The M stands for MORON
They say you should never meet your heroes. What this normally means is your perception of them can become diminished if they aren’t who you thought they would be. This rule also applies to me, but in the sense that I become a big moron and say stupid things, and something else about restraining orders but we don’t have to go into that part…ahem.
You always imagine how the encounter will go by envisioning what you will say or how you will act and then when the time comes, you totally flake out and become a bumbling neurotic moron. That is what happened to me on Saturday.
First a little background: Alix Olson is an incredible spoken-word artist. The first time I heard her perform, I could hardly move as I was mesmerized by her energy and her presence. I have driven far and wide to see her perform live, and three years ago I got the chance to actually meet her. Let’s call this encounter Moron moment number one (MMNO). MMNO occurred at a festival after she finished one of her performances. I went up to her like everyone else at that performance and told her the same thing everyone else before me had probably told her: “You are incredible thanks for inspiring me to write and express myself.” She thanked me and I probably should have walked away, but instead I froze up and just stood there with this blank look on my face. When I realized what had happened, I just ran away. Unfortunately the festival lasted two more days and I would walk by her and feel so stupid, hoping she would just forget about that very awkward and spastic conversation. Maybe she did, but I think I reminded her Saturday of that weird encounter.
On Saturday, I received a phone call from Maria. When I picked up, she told me somebody wanted to talk to me. Alix Olson got on the phone (I know...isn't that so cool!!) and the conversation went like this:
Alix: Michele?
Me: Yes? Who is this?
Alix: It’s Alix Olson.
Me: Really? Oh my god, I thought you were touring somewhere else this weekend.
Alix: No I am in Cleveland with Pam.
Me: Oh really because I could have sworn you were in California or something (Do you see how dumb I am? Why would I question her on her whereabouts when she is clearly in Cleveland, Ohio using Maria’s phone-let’s refer to this as Moron moment number two: MMNT)
Alix: No I am here and you should bring beer too.
Me: I am sorry… what did you just say?
Alix: Here. You should be here too. (Ok this is where I thought she said I should bring some beer, so I had to ask again because that didn’t make sense to me either. Good thing I got that clarified.)
Me: Oh ok
Alix: Well it was nice talking to you
Me: Actually we met before. I don't know if you remember. (Why in the world did I say that to her? Did I actually want her to remember that awkward conversation we had?)
Alix: Oh? Well I can’t really see you because we are on the phone.
Me: Oh yeah. (Did I think she would remember my voice or something? We can just label that MMNThree)
Alix: Well it was nice talking to you
Me: Ok well it was really cool to talk to you too. Thanks for getting on the phone and for being so cool with your fans. Maybe I will come up and see you. Are you going to perform…Hello? (She had hung up at the end of her last sentence, but I didn’t realize it).
Not only should I never meet my heroes, apparently I shouldn’t even talk to them on the phone.
You always imagine how the encounter will go by envisioning what you will say or how you will act and then when the time comes, you totally flake out and become a bumbling neurotic moron. That is what happened to me on Saturday.
First a little background: Alix Olson is an incredible spoken-word artist. The first time I heard her perform, I could hardly move as I was mesmerized by her energy and her presence. I have driven far and wide to see her perform live, and three years ago I got the chance to actually meet her. Let’s call this encounter Moron moment number one (MMNO). MMNO occurred at a festival after she finished one of her performances. I went up to her like everyone else at that performance and told her the same thing everyone else before me had probably told her: “You are incredible thanks for inspiring me to write and express myself.” She thanked me and I probably should have walked away, but instead I froze up and just stood there with this blank look on my face. When I realized what had happened, I just ran away. Unfortunately the festival lasted two more days and I would walk by her and feel so stupid, hoping she would just forget about that very awkward and spastic conversation. Maybe she did, but I think I reminded her Saturday of that weird encounter.
On Saturday, I received a phone call from Maria. When I picked up, she told me somebody wanted to talk to me. Alix Olson got on the phone (I know...isn't that so cool!!) and the conversation went like this:
Alix: Michele?
Me: Yes? Who is this?
Alix: It’s Alix Olson.
Me: Really? Oh my god, I thought you were touring somewhere else this weekend.
Alix: No I am in Cleveland with Pam.
Me: Oh really because I could have sworn you were in California or something (Do you see how dumb I am? Why would I question her on her whereabouts when she is clearly in Cleveland, Ohio using Maria’s phone-let’s refer to this as Moron moment number two: MMNT)
Alix: No I am here and you should bring beer too.
Me: I am sorry… what did you just say?
Alix: Here. You should be here too. (Ok this is where I thought she said I should bring some beer, so I had to ask again because that didn’t make sense to me either. Good thing I got that clarified.)
Me: Oh ok
Alix: Well it was nice talking to you
Me: Actually we met before. I don't know if you remember. (Why in the world did I say that to her? Did I actually want her to remember that awkward conversation we had?)
Alix: Oh? Well I can’t really see you because we are on the phone.
Me: Oh yeah. (Did I think she would remember my voice or something? We can just label that MMNThree)
Alix: Well it was nice talking to you
Me: Ok well it was really cool to talk to you too. Thanks for getting on the phone and for being so cool with your fans. Maybe I will come up and see you. Are you going to perform…Hello? (She had hung up at the end of her last sentence, but I didn’t realize it).
Not only should I never meet my heroes, apparently I shouldn’t even talk to them on the phone.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Weekly Sports Fun
Its time to play everyone’s favorite game: Sports Idiot of the Week. This week’s contestants are Ben Roethlisberger of the Pittsburgh Steelers and JJ Redick, NBA hopeful and former guard for the Duke Blue Devils. It looked like Roethlisberger was a shoe-in for the award on Monday morning, but Redick made a valiant effort to trump him late Monday night. Let’s take a look at each case.
Monday morning Roethlisberger was hit by an oncoming car while riding his motorcycle. This is not what puts him in contention for the award. What made him look like the sure winner was the fact that last summer he went on record to say he would not wear a motorcycle helmet unless the state of Pennsylvania made him do so. Today he sits in the hospital with a fractured jaw, broken nose, a cut on the back of his head and several missing teeth. Ironically he only hurt the parts of his body which would have been covered by a helmet. (For the record, season-ending injuries from a motorcycle accident only happen if you play for a Cleveland football team. See: Kellen Winslow)
While it looked like Big Ben would have walked away with the award after having his remarks come back to haunt him, JJ Redick took it from his grasp. Redick, everyone’s All-American, found a way to out-do him. On Monday night he was charged with a DWI. This does not make him an idiot. What makes him an idiot is how he got caught (and if you know me at all, you know I have very little room to judge as far as stupid arrests go). Redick saw a police sobriety check-point and decided to do an illegal u-turn to avoid going through it. I have to wonder if the illegal u-turn to avoid a sobriety check-point has actually ever worked for anyone. He deserves credit for giving it the old college try by doing something else illegal to avoid the checkpoint. Surely this wouldn’t draw any more attention on him, would it? For this reason and for the simple fact he has taken publicity from the Duke lacrosse scandal, he takes home the award this week.
Tune in next week as we prepare for the NBA draft by chronicling all the failed drafts of your favorite Cleveland teams. Your hosts for the program will be Tim Couch and Trajon Langdon.
Monday morning Roethlisberger was hit by an oncoming car while riding his motorcycle. This is not what puts him in contention for the award. What made him look like the sure winner was the fact that last summer he went on record to say he would not wear a motorcycle helmet unless the state of Pennsylvania made him do so. Today he sits in the hospital with a fractured jaw, broken nose, a cut on the back of his head and several missing teeth. Ironically he only hurt the parts of his body which would have been covered by a helmet. (For the record, season-ending injuries from a motorcycle accident only happen if you play for a Cleveland football team. See: Kellen Winslow)
While it looked like Big Ben would have walked away with the award after having his remarks come back to haunt him, JJ Redick took it from his grasp. Redick, everyone’s All-American, found a way to out-do him. On Monday night he was charged with a DWI. This does not make him an idiot. What makes him an idiot is how he got caught (and if you know me at all, you know I have very little room to judge as far as stupid arrests go). Redick saw a police sobriety check-point and decided to do an illegal u-turn to avoid going through it. I have to wonder if the illegal u-turn to avoid a sobriety check-point has actually ever worked for anyone. He deserves credit for giving it the old college try by doing something else illegal to avoid the checkpoint. Surely this wouldn’t draw any more attention on him, would it? For this reason and for the simple fact he has taken publicity from the Duke lacrosse scandal, he takes home the award this week.
Tune in next week as we prepare for the NBA draft by chronicling all the failed drafts of your favorite Cleveland teams. Your hosts for the program will be Tim Couch and Trajon Langdon.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Genetics
People tell me all the time I look like my mother. I inherited her nose and her eyes. I also inherited her wit and smartass personality. There is one thing, however I got from my father which may top all of those traits. I grill like my dad.
When I say I grill like my dad, I don’t just mean the way the meat tastes, I am including all of my mannerisms as well. From the way I marinade the meat, to the way I keep walking into the house yelling “ten more minutes” (when I actually have no idea how long it will really be because I time the meat on whether or not I need another beer), to they way I clean my plate after I throw the meat on the grill, to the way I talk to myself while I am grilling, to the way I believe you can grill out no matter the weather (snowing, raining, sunny, hail storms, etc…), to the way I think beer and cigarettes are as crucial as the tongs, I am truly my father’s daughter.
I think this all hit me last night when I walked into my apartment and yelled “ten more minutes”. The weird part was that I was the only one home.
When I say I grill like my dad, I don’t just mean the way the meat tastes, I am including all of my mannerisms as well. From the way I marinade the meat, to the way I keep walking into the house yelling “ten more minutes” (when I actually have no idea how long it will really be because I time the meat on whether or not I need another beer), to they way I clean my plate after I throw the meat on the grill, to the way I talk to myself while I am grilling, to the way I believe you can grill out no matter the weather (snowing, raining, sunny, hail storms, etc…), to the way I think beer and cigarettes are as crucial as the tongs, I am truly my father’s daughter.
I think this all hit me last night when I walked into my apartment and yelled “ten more minutes”. The weird part was that I was the only one home.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up
I have a friend who is a lesbian carpet salesperson. While I could just stop there and the humor level would still be quite high, I must share some of her anecdotes.
We went out to dinner last night and I inquired about how her gender affects her job. I asked her if she ever gets weird looks when she goes to houses because they don’t expect a woman in her early thirties to be selling carpet. She told me people who have scheduled appointments for their home will literally hold their door, stare out their peephole and still ask her who she is and what she is doing at their house. These same people, the ones who actually scheduled the appointment to look at carpet samples, look at her like she must be going door-to-door for something else even though she is standing there dressed up holding carpet samples. She said it is almost like they are hoping for an older gross guy to come into their house and try to sell them carpet.
Fortunately for my friend, the gender bias seems to go both ways. She said she walked into a woman’s home and the woman turned to her and said: “Thank God you are a woman. I am going through a bad divorce and I am not in the mood to talk to a man right now.” For the record, she made the sale on that one.
We went out to dinner last night and I inquired about how her gender affects her job. I asked her if she ever gets weird looks when she goes to houses because they don’t expect a woman in her early thirties to be selling carpet. She told me people who have scheduled appointments for their home will literally hold their door, stare out their peephole and still ask her who she is and what she is doing at their house. These same people, the ones who actually scheduled the appointment to look at carpet samples, look at her like she must be going door-to-door for something else even though she is standing there dressed up holding carpet samples. She said it is almost like they are hoping for an older gross guy to come into their house and try to sell them carpet.
Fortunately for my friend, the gender bias seems to go both ways. She said she walked into a woman’s home and the woman turned to her and said: “Thank God you are a woman. I am going through a bad divorce and I am not in the mood to talk to a man right now.” For the record, she made the sale on that one.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
My Lucky Day
Do people really fall for these pop-up images? I decided to see what the asterisk actually meant and clicked on terms and conditions:
PinkLaptop4Free.com reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to change its Terms & Conditions at any time, for any reason, without notice. We also reserve the right, in our sole discretion, to change the methods through which free items are earned. This may include, but is not limited to, increasing the number of friends you have to refer or adding more steps to confirm that you have a legitimate account. We may also add or remove any product listed as an incentive at any time. If we replace a product, the new product may not be of equal value. Please check these Terms of Use periodically for changes. Your use of the Site following any such modification constitutes your agreement to follow and be bound by the Terms of Use as modified. The last date these Terms of Use were revised is set forth below. If you breach any of these Terms of Use your right to use this Site will terminate automatically.
Wouldn't it be great if we could all go by those terms and conditions: Things are subject to change at any time, for any reason, without notice.
Re-Route
For those of you checking my blog for the re-cap of Tim's party, I realized I could not top the synopsis that had already been sent out by my favorite event planner. If you are curious, you can get all the juicy details on Tim's blog. Pictured at Right (courtesy of Tim): Mindy and I during the festivities.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Sportygrrl In The Conservatory With The Lead Pipe
Perhaps you have heard of a little game called Clue by Parker Brothers. The popular game has been around for over 50 years, but I forgot just how fun it was until yesterday. On a late-evening board game hunt, Clue was picked up along with Life at the local K-Mart. The only problem is we need more people to play with us. Clue is a little rudimentary with only two people. I propose the Cleveland Clue Club (The New Tri-C). Anyone want to join us? What would be even better would be a game of Clue based on our fine city. I would like to make a guess: Frank Jackson at The Q with a rolled-up Plain Dealer.
*Make sure you utilize the secret passageway from University Circle to Tremont before heading back downtown to make your guess.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
RIP Memorial Day Weekend
I had an incredible Memorial Day Weekend and decided to take Tuesday off as well to make it a four-day weekend. The weekend was full of a lot of fun events and the chance to catch up with people I haven’t been able to hang out with in a while. I spent this past weekend playing poker, hanging out at the Open Air Market , relaxing at Lava Lounge , eating at Mekong River , enjoying a short stint at the Metroparks , exhausting myself at Dave and Busters and finishing the weekend at Geauga Lake . That’s right…my brother and I spent Tuesday at Geauga Lake, along with about 1000 high school students. We actually fit in with the high school students at one point when we considered buying one of those keychains with our picture together from the roller coaster. Thankfully we realized just how queer that would be, even at half off the regular price. We even made up for that fact on the next ride and sat a seat apart just to erase any doubt we weren’t that dorky. Good thing we stayed away from the air-brushed tee-shirts.
While waiting in line for what we both agreed was the best ride at the park, X-Flight , I remarked on how unbelievable it is that people would wait up to an hour on the weekends just to ride this roller coaster. It was at this point when I told Mark they should change the name of the ride to Prom Night for the simple fact that you pay a lot of money to wait a very long time for 30 seconds of exhilaration. He agreed.
While waiting in line for what we both agreed was the best ride at the park, X-Flight , I remarked on how unbelievable it is that people would wait up to an hour on the weekends just to ride this roller coaster. It was at this point when I told Mark they should change the name of the ride to Prom Night for the simple fact that you pay a lot of money to wait a very long time for 30 seconds of exhilaration. He agreed.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Walk Softly And Carry A Big Swiffer
This morning the biggest wasp/bee/roach with wings was inside my house trying to get out of my living room window. If you know anything about me at all, you know I went running and screaming out of the room to find Maria to kill it. The following conversations then took place:
Maria: Can you get me a broom
Me: Well my broom is pretty thin. I will be right back.
(I leave and enter room with both my broom and my swiffer)
Maria: What am I going to do with your swiffer?
Me: You can use it as a spear (as I hold it out straight and demonstrate how a swiffer can be used as a spear)
Maria: I don’t have the dexterity for that-give me the broom.
Me: Well how would you use the broom then if you don’t have the dexterity?
Maria: I use the waving and batting method.
Me: Oh ok.
(At this point I leave the room and let her do her thing. I hear her swatting at the wall, my fireplace, the wall again and then finally I hear a big crash….)
Maria: I think we are going to have to buy you a new window.
Me: Did you kill it?
Maria: No but the window broke.
Me: I knew you should have used the swiffer.
Maria: Yes the swiffer as spear approach probably would have only put a hole through your wall.
Maria: Can you get me a broom
Me: Well my broom is pretty thin. I will be right back.
(I leave and enter room with both my broom and my swiffer)
Maria: What am I going to do with your swiffer?
Me: You can use it as a spear (as I hold it out straight and demonstrate how a swiffer can be used as a spear)
Maria: I don’t have the dexterity for that-give me the broom.
Me: Well how would you use the broom then if you don’t have the dexterity?
Maria: I use the waving and batting method.
Me: Oh ok.
(At this point I leave the room and let her do her thing. I hear her swatting at the wall, my fireplace, the wall again and then finally I hear a big crash….)
Maria: I think we are going to have to buy you a new window.
Me: Did you kill it?
Maria: No but the window broke.
Me: I knew you should have used the swiffer.
Maria: Yes the swiffer as spear approach probably would have only put a hole through your wall.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Weekend Warriors
How many miles can you put on your car without leaving northeast Ohio? I felt like Neil Zurcher doing a one-tank trip this weekend as I ventured to the east side on Friday night and the very very east side on Saturday. On Friday after work I traveled to and got lost on the east side of Cleveland over by Monticello and Noble. As you can tell by the neon green line, which indicates my traveling patterns Friday night, I did not use the same route on the way home. Nonetheless the end result got us to the most amazing hair and beauty supply store I have ever seen. I am sure you never thought you would hear those words come out of my mouth, but the look of awe on my face said it all (which makes the fact that someone asked me if I worked there even more amazing).When it was all said and done, I am glad I got lost and took a different route back because I was introduced to my traveling companion's stomping grounds as a child and teenager. It was a lot of fun to share those memories with her.
On Saturday our travels, as indicated by the blue line, took us Southeast. We first headed to Tallmadge for the spring rummage sale at the Summit County Fairgrounds. After sifting through what I actually can wear, I ended up getting two nice shirts, two pairs of boots and a cool salmon-colored blazer for $2. After our Tallmadge adventure we headed north to Shalersville and on to Mantua to get an up-close look at my roots. It is definitely something you have to see to believe and a far cry from Camp Lieberth where we made a pit stop on the way home. All in all we got new hair, new clothes and a new appreciation for where we came from in just two days. No wonder we were so exhausted this weekend. I would like to see Neil Zurcher top that!
Friday, May 19, 2006
World Politics For Dummies
I am trying to break down a current political situation (you know the one where Venezuela offended America so America decided not to sell Venzuela arms anymore even though America would still export oil from Venezuela and then Venezuela and America both decided to become even tighter with Libya, even though it made very little sense for America to do so while Venezuela decided to start giving Iran the F16s America had sold to them even though America is rumored to be going into battle with Iran) into layman’s terms so we can see how childish world leaders can be. I decided to use a high school analogy to make it easier to understand.
One day after lunch, the most popular girl in school, Mary decided she was no longer going to be friends with Veronica because she heard Veronica was talking about her behind her back. Apparently Veronica had been calling Mary evil and telling people she won’t always be popular because people will see her true colors after graduation. Instead of being friends with Veronica, Mary decided to befriend Libby. None of the popular kids really understood why Mary would want to be friends with Libby. Libby was always kind of an outcast and had caused a lot of trouble for Mary back in elementary school.
Meanwhile Veronica also decided to become even better friends with Libby which began to confuse Libby even more. Libby went along with it but discussed with her friend Ira how weird it is that she had these friends all the sudden. Ira agreed and confided in Libby that Veronica was giving Ira all of Mary’s old clothes and letters. Both girls got even more nervous as they remembered how Mary had stabbed other people in the back but then come back to be friends with them after feeling guilty about what she had done. Mary was a little weird in the fact that she would break couples up but then help them get back together. Nobody really trusted Mary. She had gotten herself in some weird situations and nobody can really believe what happened between her and her best friend from the cheerleading squad, Francis. Francis didn’t agree with Mary about how to perform a cheer and Mary refused to talk to her ever again.
Join us next week to see how Mary handles her new friends, if Veronica’s comments about Mary will come true after graduation and to see if Ira fits into the clothes Veronica has passed on to her.
In this particular piece the characters are played by the following countries:
Mary=America
Veronica=Venezuela
Libby=Libya
Ira=Iran
Francis=France
One day after lunch, the most popular girl in school, Mary decided she was no longer going to be friends with Veronica because she heard Veronica was talking about her behind her back. Apparently Veronica had been calling Mary evil and telling people she won’t always be popular because people will see her true colors after graduation. Instead of being friends with Veronica, Mary decided to befriend Libby. None of the popular kids really understood why Mary would want to be friends with Libby. Libby was always kind of an outcast and had caused a lot of trouble for Mary back in elementary school.
Meanwhile Veronica also decided to become even better friends with Libby which began to confuse Libby even more. Libby went along with it but discussed with her friend Ira how weird it is that she had these friends all the sudden. Ira agreed and confided in Libby that Veronica was giving Ira all of Mary’s old clothes and letters. Both girls got even more nervous as they remembered how Mary had stabbed other people in the back but then come back to be friends with them after feeling guilty about what she had done. Mary was a little weird in the fact that she would break couples up but then help them get back together. Nobody really trusted Mary. She had gotten herself in some weird situations and nobody can really believe what happened between her and her best friend from the cheerleading squad, Francis. Francis didn’t agree with Mary about how to perform a cheer and Mary refused to talk to her ever again.
Join us next week to see how Mary handles her new friends, if Veronica’s comments about Mary will come true after graduation and to see if Ira fits into the clothes Veronica has passed on to her.
In this particular piece the characters are played by the following countries:
Mary=America
Veronica=Venezuela
Libby=Libya
Ira=Iran
Francis=France
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Can I Get A Witness?
I had such high hopes for my blog today. I wanted to write about how the United States was working against Venuzuela, or how Thomas Paine would be rolling over in his grave if he saw how this country was being run today, or even touch upon the thought that if we took the resources we are using to build a wall to keep immigrants out and used it to build a wall to keep New Orleans alive, we would be living in a much better place. This was all before last night’s game.
The CAVS’ victory last night was the biggest win in Cleveland sports since the Indians won the pennant in 1997. It is quite sad when the biggest sports victory in the past ten years doesn’t even win the series, just evens it up. However we have been dealing with sports futility for so long we will take just about anything, especially a win that denies Rasheed Wallace his victory guarantee. Yesterday Scoop Jackson of ESPN wrote an article about how losing this series to Detroit will be one of the best things that could happen to LeBron and the CAVS, and how Michael Jordan had to lose to the Pistons before he could go onto greatness. He mentioned that in the end, this will all be worth the wait. Maybe, just maybe we won’t have to wait until after this year to see how far he can take this team.
The CAVS’ victory last night was the biggest win in Cleveland sports since the Indians won the pennant in 1997. It is quite sad when the biggest sports victory in the past ten years doesn’t even win the series, just evens it up. However we have been dealing with sports futility for so long we will take just about anything, especially a win that denies Rasheed Wallace his victory guarantee. Yesterday Scoop Jackson of ESPN wrote an article about how losing this series to Detroit will be one of the best things that could happen to LeBron and the CAVS, and how Michael Jordan had to lose to the Pistons before he could go onto greatness. He mentioned that in the end, this will all be worth the wait. Maybe, just maybe we won’t have to wait until after this year to see how far he can take this team.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Hold 'Em Karma
Texas Hold Em is both a game of chance and a game of skill. I have now found out there is another variable determining the outcome of this poker game: karma. Yesterday right before one of my family members sat down to play Hold 'Em, they said the following two statements:
"I don't think we should rebuild New Orleans" and the scary but true...
"I am voting for Blackwell in November"
Less than five minutes into the game, they went all in and lost to my three queens. How appropriate.
"I don't think we should rebuild New Orleans" and the scary but true...
"I am voting for Blackwell in November"
Less than five minutes into the game, they went all in and lost to my three queens. How appropriate.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Lost In Translation
Funny how last Wednesday I posted three different times and now I haven’t posted once in eight days. Alas, the life of a lazy, ADHD procrastinating blogger. Bare with me on this entry, I have eight days of thoughts.
I have to start with last Wednesday night. Mark got tickets to the CAVS playoff game against Washington and I couldn’t turn that playoff offer down. We called a cab from the Old Angle and waited and waited for what was supposed to be a six-minute guaranteed pick-up. Fifteen minutes later, a limo pulls up and the bartender tells us our cab is ready. We found out the company uses their limos when they run out of cabs. Whatever the reason, we looked pretty foolish getting out of a limo in front of the “The Q” in cargo pants, t-shirts and flip flops while handing the guy seven dollars. The game was a lot of fun, but in my case fun translates into spending most of my time in the smoking area outside the arena or in line for a beer, so I guess I should say it seemed like the people I saw in those two places thought the game was fun. We watched the end of the game at Nick's Sports Bar where we actually met the rest of our party before the game started. Nick's is a place I recommend to anyone going to the Jake or Q before the game. It has a huge collection of characters, none of which can be topped by one of my brother’s best friends, Foley. Foley sells his t-shirts there and even gets the men in business suits to pound on the bar and do CAVS cheers. It is amazing to watch. You can find him outside of most major sports venues selling his witty shirts-look for his latest Indians design: Sizemore Does Matter.
My weekend was highlighted by two first communion parties: one on Saturday and one on Sunday. If you are keeping score at home, this means I have attended three different first communion celebrations and one Easter Vigil over the past couple weeks (which totally makes up for me using the Lord’s name in vain 17 times last month). In my family First Communion party actually translates into Texas Hold Em tournaments and sporting events on the television. This actually describes most holidays in my family whether you are showing up with a Christmas gift or a first communion card, the outcome is usually going to be the same: you are going to watch a game, drink a little beer and lose $20 to your family playing Hold Em. That’s what I call family values.
The big event this week was the celebration of Mindy’s 31st birthday. Apparently let’s just stay in and keep it low-key translates into pissing contests outside some random house in Tremont and playing cards with my brother until 2 am. It was one of those nights when we realized how classless we can be at times and high-fived to the fact that there are actually people in our lives who still want to love us anyway. At least we, no wait, at least Mindy cleans up well.
I am looking forward to taking it easy this weekend with a Mother’s Day celebration at Camp Lieberth. Translation: Beer and Texas Hold Em.
I have to start with last Wednesday night. Mark got tickets to the CAVS playoff game against Washington and I couldn’t turn that playoff offer down. We called a cab from the Old Angle and waited and waited for what was supposed to be a six-minute guaranteed pick-up. Fifteen minutes later, a limo pulls up and the bartender tells us our cab is ready. We found out the company uses their limos when they run out of cabs. Whatever the reason, we looked pretty foolish getting out of a limo in front of the “The Q” in cargo pants, t-shirts and flip flops while handing the guy seven dollars. The game was a lot of fun, but in my case fun translates into spending most of my time in the smoking area outside the arena or in line for a beer, so I guess I should say it seemed like the people I saw in those two places thought the game was fun. We watched the end of the game at Nick's Sports Bar where we actually met the rest of our party before the game started. Nick's is a place I recommend to anyone going to the Jake or Q before the game. It has a huge collection of characters, none of which can be topped by one of my brother’s best friends, Foley. Foley sells his t-shirts there and even gets the men in business suits to pound on the bar and do CAVS cheers. It is amazing to watch. You can find him outside of most major sports venues selling his witty shirts-look for his latest Indians design: Sizemore Does Matter.
My weekend was highlighted by two first communion parties: one on Saturday and one on Sunday. If you are keeping score at home, this means I have attended three different first communion celebrations and one Easter Vigil over the past couple weeks (which totally makes up for me using the Lord’s name in vain 17 times last month). In my family First Communion party actually translates into Texas Hold Em tournaments and sporting events on the television. This actually describes most holidays in my family whether you are showing up with a Christmas gift or a first communion card, the outcome is usually going to be the same: you are going to watch a game, drink a little beer and lose $20 to your family playing Hold Em. That’s what I call family values.
The big event this week was the celebration of Mindy’s 31st birthday. Apparently let’s just stay in and keep it low-key translates into pissing contests outside some random house in Tremont and playing cards with my brother until 2 am. It was one of those nights when we realized how classless we can be at times and high-fived to the fact that there are actually people in our lives who still want to love us anyway. At least we, no wait, at least Mindy cleans up well.
I am looking forward to taking it easy this weekend with a Mother’s Day celebration at Camp Lieberth. Translation: Beer and Texas Hold Em.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Giving Back
The Ohio University Alumni Association is setting the trend. Why contact and bother your alumni donors when you can just pretend their information has been stolen? I for one will be happier without all the calls and unneccesary mail.
Mommy's Little Helpers
This picture on the cleveland.com website today shows the new voting machines in Westlake. I think it also shows what might be wrong with voting in Ohio: Parents are now letting their kids vote for them. Wonder if she is thinking: "Issues? Why would I care about any of the issues? C'mon kids...hurry up. My SUV is outside running and it costs me $95 to fill the tank up!"
Isn't This Supposed To Be A Football Town?
Last Friday while at a bar on the East Side (don’t ask), I saw people cheering and high fiving. The place was going crazy when LeBron drove down the lane and scored the winning basket. I wanted to share this experience with people I talked to this weekend because I thought it was an anomaly. The weird thing is when I shared my experience, three different people told me the same thing back. I heard a story about a bar going crazy in Rocky River, The Flats and Lakewood. What the hell is going on in this town? People are coming together over a team that plays a sport inside? It makes me think back to when LeBron got drafted and said he wanted to stay here and make it fun to be a sports fan again because he lived through all the heartbreaks we did (i.e. the fumble, the drive, the shot, Charles Nagy as a closer…). In a time when players and fans are becoming more and more disconnected, it is nice to have somebody who grew up in the area now winning games in Cleveland. While none of us will ever be able to relate to a 21-year old man worth hundreds of millions of dollars, it is good to know that at one point in his life he knew how hard it was to be a Cleveland sports fan too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
